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God, gays, blackbirds and blizzards

God, gays, blackbirds and blizzards January 14, 2011

THE deaths of thousands of blackbirds in Arkansas at the start of the New Year may have been caused by the recent repeal in America of the notorious “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” military rule.

Treat gays humanely and God will kill a blackbird
That’s the view of dotty evangelist Cindy Jacobs, a “prophet” who, according to this report, once claimed the ability to banish “gay demons”.
Jacobs said in a video this week that the strange phenomenon, that has now occurred in various places across the world, was an “answer” from God for violating his principles concerning homosexuality:

According to biblical principles, marriage is between a man and a woman, so we have to say ‘what happens when a nation makes a decision that’s against God’s principles?’. Well, often what happens is that nature itself will begin to talk to us – for instance, violent storms, flooding.

Jacobs founded Generals International (GI), an international evangelical Christian group, along with her husband in 1985. She is also a member of the Apostolic Council of Prophetic Elders, a group of prophets who claim to have foreseen Islamic terrorism in 1999.
During an evangelical conference in 2008, Jacobs conducted a mass exorcism of the audience to cast out the spirits of pornography, addiction, lust, bisexuality, homosexuality, and perversion. In another event in Texas in November, she claimed that if Latinos voted for candidates who opposed gay marriage, then God would reward them with immigration reform.
President Barack Obama signed a landmark law last December repealing the ban on gay men and women serving openly in the military, fulfilling one of his major campaign pledges and casting the issue as a matter of civil rights long denied.
Of course there’s a more rational explanation for the blackbirds’ deaths. According to a Guardian report, fireworks may have caused the blackbird’s deaths.
Blaming The Gays for every natural disaster in the galaxy is so much the standard response of fruitloops like Jacobs that satirists are finding it increasingly difficult to take the piss out of these nutty fundies.

However, Andy Borowitz, had me chuckling over a spoof report he penned about the recent blizzards in the US:

Rev Pat Robertson sparked controversy in today’s broadcast of his ‘700 Club’ program when he claimed that God created the blizzard currently battering the Northeast ‘to punish Americans who were planning to drive to do something gay’.
Explaining his theory, Robertson said, ‘Because of the bad road conditions the Almighty has made, any gay activities that people were planning on doing will have to be postponed by a day or two’. Additionally, he argued, God shut down major airports in the New York area ‘so that people who were hoping to fly to do something of a gay nature would have to take a train or a bus, so it might be days before the gay thing they were going to do could occur’.
As for the millions of straight people in New York City who were also grounded by the bad weather, the televangelist said, ‘I think God probably wonders: If these people are really straight, then what are they doing in New York?’

Hat tip: Alan (blackbirds) and Sister Talitha (Borowitz)


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