Forget garlic, it's cow pee you need to keep Dracula at bay

Forget garlic, it's cow pee you need to keep Dracula at bay October 23, 2016

A government agency in India established to protect cows has claimed that that the sprinkling of the animals’ urine can protect people from ‘evil forces like Dracula and Satan’.
According to The Times of India, the Gauseva and Gauchar Vikas Board, made the claim in a document called Aarogya Geeta, which sets out  the benefits of the milk, dung and urine of cows.
In it, the board cites the fictional character Dracula as proof of the Western world’s belief in ghosts and the diseases they can cause, claiming that:

Only cow urine can keep ghosts at bay. Many diseases occur if evil forces or ghosts enter the human body. These are called ‘Bhootmishtang’ diseases in the shashtras [Hindu scriptures].

Explaining how cow urine can combat the diseases caused by supernatural forces, the Aarogya Geeta say:

Lord Shankar is the god of all ghosts and the Ganga lives in his hair. Nandi (the holy bull in Hindu belief) is a vehicle of Lord Shankar.
Cow urine contains the Ganga. Ghosts run away from cow urine because Nandi was the son of Gau Mata or mother cow.

It adds:

Modern science does not accept the existence of ghosts, but various civilisations accept the existence of ghosts, vampires, evil forces and witches. Western Christian civilization accepts the existence of Dracula. Many films were made on it. Islamic beliefs accept the existence of Satan.

Dr Vallabh Kathiria, chairman of the board, said that the views regarding ghosts or Dracula in the advisory document is those of the writer.
However, he maintained that research should be conducted on the existence of ghosts and other supernatural elements.

Today, people do not believe in ghosts and satanic powers, but there is a scope of research in this area.

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  • Broga

    I thought everybody knew that. Cow pee is very potent as a protection against Dracula and Satan.

  • L.Long

    I know this works cuz when i lived on the farm with all those cows I never saw dracula or satan around anywhere, now living here in NC I’m not too sure they aint around all over. But its hard to tell with all the bigot xtians around!

  • 1859

    If someone who’d taken a bath in cow piss came towards me you’d sure as hell wouldn’t see me for dust.
    Ghosts have a god? And they live in the god’s hair?
    I have a complete 14 volume set of Hasting’s ‘Encyclopedia of Religion and Ethics’ published between 1900 and 1920, and in its thousands and thousands of pages are are some of the weirdest, most bizarre collection of superstitious beliefs from practically every tribe and culture on the planet. One tiny snippet: How did Australian aborigines ascertain who murdered who? They put the dead body up on a frame, waited till it began to rot and watched in which direction the decaying fluids flowed when they dripped to the ground. They believed that the dead man’s fluids would point in the direction of the guilty murderer.
    The human imagination is capable of the most outstanding feats of convoluted superstition you could possibly imagine. And belief in the real existence of what we imagine inside our minds is one of them. So, I’m off to hug a cow.

  • Vanity Unfair

    “Only cow urine can keep ghosts at bay.”
    Well, have you ever heard of a haunted cowshed?

  • I dreamed last night that I was unwillingly mounted by a befanged Countess Dracula, who proceeded to shove his Transylvanian bhootmishtang straight up my Gau Mata Shashtra, with the disturbing result that my poor old Aarogya Geeta has been rendered all a-tremble and my Nandi Pandi Ganga has turned an alarming shade of blue.

  • S Lurry

    Bullshit is very effective … it keeps countless millions of credulous fool enthralled with godly thoughts.

  • Jobrag

    “Christian civilisation accepts the existence of Dracula. Many films were made on it”.
    So all those Bollywood films with Princess falling in love with whoever and then singing about it are documentaries?

  • AgentCormac

    You’d have hoped in this day and age that the people who advance these idiot ideas would be roundly mocked instead of being revered for supposedly possessing knowledge that no one else has.These days we may have access to the most incredible technology, medical knowledge and scientific understanding, but sadly there are many who seem only too happy to carry on living like it’s still the Stone Age.

  • Daz

    And I always thought it was just a cure for boldness.

  • barriejohn

    I always tell family members that we display all the photos of them and their children about the place because it keeps the vampires at bay – and that it works most effectively. It’s just the sort of argument that is used in support of prayer and other religious observances!

  • Brian Jordan

    This is an interesting development, what with the Muslim belief that camel urine has great medicinal propetiers. Are we to see the development of a Unified Quadrupedal Effluent Pharmacopeia? Or will the advocates of the competing fluids fight it out at dawn, with loaded water pisstols?

  • K9P

    Someone is taking the piss.

  • Robster

    Does getting pissed have the same effect?