Pope gives Patriarch Kirill of Moscow a grisly birthday gift

Pope gives Patriarch Kirill of Moscow a grisly birthday gift November 25, 2016

The picture above shows His Holiness Patriarch Kirill of Moscow and All Russia, right, with the President of the Pontifical Council for Promoting Christian Unity, Cardinal Kurt Koch, who handed Kirill a piece of St Francis of Assisi.

Koch, according to this report, gave Kirill the relic – a gift from the Pope – to mark the Russian Orthodox leader’s 70th birthday this week.
The relic was accompanied by a message from Pope Francis  which said:

I wish to convey to Your Holiness, my beloved brother in Christ, the assurance of my personal best wishes and fervent prayers on the occasion of your seventieth birthday.
I thank the Lord for the abundant blessings that he has bestowed upon you in your life and in your ministry as Pastor of the Russian Orthodox Church. I am especially grateful for your personal contribution to the rapprochement between our Churches and I recall with great emotion our historic meeting in Havana.

The Russian news agency, Interfax, pointed out that in September the Pope received a piece of  Saint Seraphim of Sarov from Metropolitan Hilarion of Volokolamsk when Hilarion visited the Vatican.  The relic came in the form of an Easter egg.
Kirill was also in the news this week for slamming equality laws that open the way to gay marriage.
He compared such legislation with apartheid laws in South Africa and anti-Semitic laws in Nazi Germany, and concluded that in their innermost hearts, people know such laws are wrong.
I hereby give notice that my 70th birthday is just three months away, and I can think of no better gift than Kirill’s ridiculous hat … preferably with his head still in it.

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  • Broga

    They do love bits of bodies. And they never consider the weirdness of the practice of celibacy.

  • L.Long

    So one lying conman gave another lying conman a magical gift that does not work for anything important or real. Makes sense to me!

  • AgentCormac

    Surely there can’t be much left of these so-called saints if they keep hacking away at them every time a present is required.
    BTW, if you want the madness of religion summed up in one news report, watch the following short video – mothers saying they’d rather their sons were killed than their local church destroyed and accounts of boys executing prisoners in the name of god. Religion is such a force for good in the world.

  • barriejohn

    Barry: Henry VIII said of Bishop Fisher, when the Pope promised to make him a cardinal, that if he were to send the hat he would find that Fisher didn’t have a head on which to place it. A similar remark has been attributed to Henry in relation to the hated Reginald Pole (“I will take off his head with the hat still on it”), but I’m not sure whether that is authentic or not, or whether it has been borrowed from the other quotation. There is a charming little chapel built for Pole’s mother, the Countess of Salisbury, at Christchurch Priory near us, but her body was never interred there, as she, along with others of the family (she was the last of the Plantagenets, which didn’t exactly help her cause!) were executed and buried at the Tower (she was nearly seventy). Accounts of her execution vary (did she kneel, did she refuse, did they hold her down, or did she run around screaming?), but it was certainly a botched job, and her head and shoulders were hacked at mercilessly before she eventually succumbed, again amongst much blood and gore. Henry, of course, was a devout believer; just imagine how cruel he could have been were it not for his Christian faith!

  • Bill Bonk

    I look forward to the days when bits of dead Kirill, Ratzinger and Francis are gifted amonst the pious.
    I personally have the mummified left testicle of Braygore IX aka Saint Ivan Gottabollockov who was killed in the battle on the Isle of Ska Rotum in 965AD. I know it is because the guy I bought it from, Shar Latan, a monk living on Iona, told me so.
    What would the police do if a piece of a dead human being was being exchanged between two chavs down a dark alley in say Peckham Rye?

  • Bill Bonk

    AgentC … yes I saw that too. Primitive. How the fuck does that make her son feel. Maybe he will go a piss up the wall of a mosque in full view of an IS werewolf for mothers day. Maybe that will make her feel better.

  • Bill Bonk

    Dont tell Kirill but Francis had the relic laced with Polonium so that when Kirill has a lick thats it … done for.

  • sailor1031

    @agentC: I think these relics are self renewing. You hack off a piece it grows back again. A bit like the ‘self-reconstituting southern virgin’ described by Florence King – “she comes home with her panties in her purse but by morning she’s a virgin again”. It’s a miracle & surpasseth all understanding..

  • Which piece of St Francis of Assisi did Cardinal Kurt hand over to His Holiness Patriarch Kirill? His Koch? If so, let us pray Patriarch Kirill uses the member responsibly and doesn’t attempt to swallow the f–king thing. Let’s face it, we all know what these Russian Patriarchs can get up to…..especially within the privacy of their cloistered chambers.

  • Smokey

    That picture looks like a meeting between top-level Mafia “Dons”. Friendly, smiling, welcoming, hiding the unsavoury bits underneath a veneer of civility. And why wouldn’t they be friendly? They already agree over which domains they rule. They wear the Rolexes while their underlings run around doing the dirty work, like beating up gays on the street.
    You know the difference between the two groups by the stupid headgear. The stupider the headgear, the more unsavoury they are.
    At least the Mafia delivers on their promises.

  • Newspaniard

    Hmf! You call that a gift? Ned Flanders (of Simpsons fame) has a piece of the “True Cross”.

  • Paul

    Why would you gift a piece of a human to anyone – or keep it in a box or venerate it. This is simply Black magic nonsense and it is irrational and macabre. Intelligent human beings do not truly behave like this, yet when you
    Pretend you know things no one else does, get some fancy outfit, talk in a funny way, use key words to appear clever, make up ghost stories and falsify knowledge to hold control over people, it seems that having pieces of humans long passed is essential to perpartuate the deception.

  • From the linked article: “Kirill explained that our common moral nature was created by God and is the basis of good laws. “Legislation defines moral values in legal terms, telling us what’s good and what’s bad,” he said. “We know that stealing is bad and helping people is good, and laws define what stealing is and what the suitable punishment for it is.””
    The law and the church both used to make slavery lawful. The law changed. The church, well, their holy books did not change and their tradition did not vanish. They merely quietly followed secular law for a safe distance, then began to crow night and day about how Christianity led the charge against slavery.

  • barriejohn

    But what kind of person needs a “law” to tell them that “stealing is bad and helping people is good”, and if your “law” doesn’t mention a specific thing, does that mean that it’s not included? I’m always amazed when religious types come out with such idiotic nonsense. It just shows that they’ve never really thought things through.

  • Paul

    Actually of the five great apes, chimps also know that stleaing is bad and helping each other brings good things, either food or sexual rewards or both. It isn’t rocket science it certainly isn’t religion it’s called evolution.

  • StephenJP

    Kirill is a seriously nasty piece of work. He is delighted to be used by Putin to provide moral cover for whatever Russia chooses to do to its own or other people. The Pope is tarnished even more than he is already (if that is possible) by his lackey’s association with this man. It is to the everlasting shame of the CofE that they should have welcomed him to the UK a few weeks ago and forced him to shake hands with HMtQ. I hope she was wearing gloves.

  • sailor1031

    How much respect is RCC Inc showing for Francesco di Assisi by giving a bit of his body away? why haven’t they given him the burial that ANY decent organisation gives its capos?

  • remigius

    “…helping each other brings good things, either food or sexual rewards or both.”
    Lucky buggers. I barely even get a thank-you. Even a biscuit would be nice.

  • barriejohn

    Or a badge (Tony Hancock).

  • An early HB to our captain Barry.

  • Robster

    When I saw the headline: “a grisly birthday gift”I was expecting Frank to have procured a fresh pack of Jesus crackers and a carton of pretend Jesus blood for his Russian buddy, but no, a disappointing snack of dehydrated saint instead.

  • AgentCormac

    @ remigius
    I’m lucky if it even gets noticed. And when it does it seems a grunt will suffice as my reward.

  • remigius

    A grunt? Ooh lucky you – what I wouldn’t give for a grunt. I’d consider my self fortunate to be hit on the back of the head with a shovel. And then be expected to thank them for the privilege.

  • 1859

    If anyone of us were to be ‘sanctified’, which bits of yourself would you be ok with donating as a relic?

  • barriejohn

    1859: All bits are holy. We’ve discussed Jesus’s foreskin here before, but someone allegedly auctioned his toenails a couple of years back !
    Shouldn’t this read “Holy Toenails, Batman!”?

  • DOM

    The Romans were even disgusted by the habit of the early Christians collecting body bits to worship!