Trump’s ‘fixer’ may go to a prison known for its tasty Jewish food

Trump’s ‘fixer’ may go to a prison known for its tasty Jewish food December 17, 2018

If you’re a Jewish miscreant who has to do jail time in New York, pray that a judge will send you FCI Otisville, where you’ll be served delicious dishes such as matzo ball soup.

Image via YouTube

The kosher culinary delights on the menu at this medium-security prison about 70 miles northwest of New York City came to light after Michael Cohen, above, Trump’s lawyer and “fixer” was handed a three-year jail sentence last week.

He was found guilty of, among other things, carrying out the president’s hush money payments to two women who say they had affairs with him, violating campaign finance laws in the process.

Cohen is the first member of Mr Trump’s inner circle to be jailed over the special counsel’s inquiry into alleged Russian meddling in the 2016 election.

He admitted lying to Congress, campaign finance violations and tax evasion.

In a New York court Cohen, 52, blamed his crimes on Mr Trump. The disgraced attorney told Judge William Pauley on Wednesday that Trump had caused him to

Follow a path of darkness rather than light.

Pauley recommended FCI Otisville, but the final decision will be made by the Federal Bureau of Prisons.

The Jewish Telegraphic Agency reports that it’s unclear whether Cohen, who has noted his Jewish identity on multiple occasions, keeps kosher at all.

FCI Otisville is additionally known for being a particularly comfortable place for a prison. One current inmate reportedly said he eats better in the prison, where the staff is pleasant and the food is “plentiful”, than he did at home.

Matzo ball soup. Worth going to prison for?

If Cohen gets sent to the FCI Otisville recommended by his judge, he’ll get kosher foods such as matzo ball soup, gefilte fish and rugelach – a cream cheese pastry – in part because of its “proximity to New York’s sizable Jewish population.”

Image via YouTube

Larry Levine, above, who served an 11-year sentence in 10 different prisons and then set up the Wall Street Prison Consultants group, described FCI Otisville is “federal Jewish heaven.”  It holds Shabbat dinners and Passover seders.

Other Jewish inmates who passed through the facility include businessmen Sholam Weiss and Kenneth Ira Starr.

Bernie Madoff’s lawyer asked that the Ponzi schemer be sent there in 2009, but instead Madoff was sent to a prison in North Carolina.

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  • Cozmo the Magician

    Is there a prison that caters to people of the Flying Spaghetti Monster faith? Just wondering…

    I mean if I EVER decide to rob a bank or something here in NYS it would be nice to know that I will get bottomless bowls of pasta and meatballs and a never ending stack of bread sticks. Ohhh.. and some red wine too.

    Maybe even just some nice salad with vinegrette dressing.

    Or fuck that, just feed me lasagna (:

  • Melvin Polatnick

    Getting a frozen Kosher meal is nice but after the food a Jewish inmate has to pay “punk dues” to the tough bad ass racial minorities. No NYS jail is easy for a white inmate. Those whites who say it was a picnic are making misleading statements.

  • I don’t think it’s a problem to treat our criminal population better than we do.

    Prisons should make a lot of room for restorative justice and redemption, rather than just penalization.

    As much as some criminals disgust me, in the bigger picture it’s best to consider everyone capable of redemption.

    And it’s hard to want better for oneself when everyone around you considers you a piece of shit, and treats you accordingly.

    And whether or not they “deserve” their sentences, being an imprisoned convict definitely puts you in Jesus’ “least of these” category.

    As such, our society lives and dies on how we treat them.

    We live in a nation that imprisons more of its own people than anywhere on earth. 1 in 5 prisoners globally are held behind US bars.

    If decent kosher meals are available for Jewish inmates, I say *good*

  • EquaYona

    They are likely comparing it to other places where they’ve been incarcerated. All places are not equally violent, and good food really helps burnish memories.

  • Jim X

    Jared and Ivanka would fit right in at Otisville.