Heavens to Betsy! Pope moves to create another furshlugginer saint.

Heavens to Betsy! Pope moves to create another furshlugginer saint. July 7, 2019

The Vatican’s saint-creating machine has gone into overdrive.

After examining saints in a feature on July 3, and reporting on the impending sainthood of ‘Blessed’ (and probably gay) John Henry Newman later in the week, I learned today that Pope Francis has approved a miracle bringing the late American Archbishop Fulton J Sheen, known for his revolutionary radio and TV preaching, closer to sainthood.

Image via YouTube/EWTN

Sheen, who would not have looked out of place in a vampire movie, alleged reached out from the grave to resuscitate a baby that showed no signs of life after she was born.

The Vatican announced the move yesterday, which clears the way for beatification.

It comes just weeks after a New York court ruling allowing Sheen’s niece to bury him in Peoria, Illinois, where he was ordained, ending a lengthy tug-of-war over his remains and allowing the process for sainthood to resume.

Sheen, who died in 1979 – not as a result of a stake through his heart – was known for his on-air evangelism. He started in 1930 on NBC radio with a weekly Sunday programme titled “The Catholic Hour,” and expanded to television in 1950 with NBC’s “Life is Worth Living,” which had a weekly following of more than 30 million viewers.

No date has been given for beatification, but the Peoria Diocese said yesterday it is beginning preparations for the celebration, which would be held in Peoria.

Peoria Bishop Daniel Jenky said he’s grateful the Vatican acted quickly after the transfer of Sheen’s remains, and hopeful Pope Francis will set a date for beatification soon. He said:

It is truly amazing how God continues to work miracles.

Catholic superstition has it that the dead Sheen “interceded”  after a baby was born in 2010 and showed no signs of life. The diocese says family and friends prayed to Sheen to intercede, and the baby was transferred to a Peoria hospital near the Cathedral of St Mary of the Immaculate Conception, where Sheen was ordained in 1919 and is now entombed.

The diocese says after 61 minutes without vital signs, the baby’s heart began beating and the child breathed normally, and the infant is now a healthy young child.

The diocese conducted a canonical investigation and submitted its findings to the Vatican in 2011.

• If you’re puzzled by the word “furshlugginer” in the headline, you’re clearly not a Mad magazine fan.

Hat tip: BarrieJohn


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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • larry parker

    I prayed to Sheen for a pony but never got it.

  • Jim Jones

    I prayed for a pony girl with the same result.

  • Barry Duke

    Wrong saint Larry. St Eligius may have delivered the goods. https://www.learnreligions.com/saint-eligius-patron-saint-of-horses-124327

  • Michael Neville

    You should have stolen a pony and then prayed to Sheen for forgiveness.

    <With apologies to Emo Phillips>

  • barriejohn
  • barriejohn

    My Little Phoney!

  • Broga

    “reached out from the grave to resuscitate a baby that showed no signs of life after she was born.”

    Entirely believable. This is routine stuff for the saints. I would expect nothing less.

    I do have a concern about liking him to a vampire who, I think, are like bats. We have bats in our loft and I often watch them in the late evening swooping to catch insects. Now that is a real miracle.

  • Broga

    Did you explain what kind of pony? Tell him specifically and try again, and you may get a pony. The saints have shed loads of ponies waiting to be delivered. Young girls are their best customers: including my daughter. Although she got a pony without praying to a saint.

  • barriejohn

    Maybe a saint DID give her the pony!

  • Broga

    I can see the possibility now you mention it. Her parents are atheists so she is clearly a very deprived child and does not know how to pray. So some random saint – perhaps a saint for horses – gave her a pony, despite her not praying, as a consolation for her deprivation as a child. Yes, I see it now. Many thanks.

  • Zetopan

    Yet again the “supernatural”, involving a dead religionist no less, is the ONLY possible explanation! What happened to the people who prayed for Sheen to come back to life? I guess that some miracles are just TOO hard, particularly when anyone with any sense is actually looking.

  • Zetopan

    I prayed to a pony for Sheen to remain dead and it actually worked! Quick Vatican, canonize St.Pony!!

  • Zetopan

    Sheen is also likely engaged with bugs.*

    *Those feasting on his remains.

  • Vanity Unfair

    Sheen, who died in 1979…..“interceded” after a baby was born in 2010 and showed no signs of life.
    Sheen….reached out from the grave…

    I’m surprised anyone hung around to see what happened next but that certainly must qualify as a miracle.
    However….

    The diocese says family and friends prayed to Sheen to intercede, and the baby was transferred to a Peoria hospital….[and]…after 61 minutes without vital signs, the baby’s heart began beating and the child breathed normally, and the infant is now a healthy young child.

    Perhaps something happened in the hospital with its trained doctors, midwives, nurses and technicians with their combined expertise and access to modern medical procedures and equipment that just might have had some minor bearing on the situation. Or am I being overly cynical?

  • rubaxter

    And, I’m sure the priest who investigated ‘gave Great Hair’ …

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/21c942bc09ff19438d9870b922e69f2665f5deccafef67435cd35adf64784944.jpg

  • rubaxter

    So, how many people did Sheen despise and let die by NOT answering prayers?

    Gotta tally results from BOTH sides of the Null Hypothesis before you decide if he’s a Saint/Fec&#8203king Bas&#8203tard.

    That’s Data, as opposed to Anecdote.

    Oh yeah …, forgot …, this is Christer&#8203dumb as opposed to Science.

  • rubaxter

    Ahhh, that brand new baby smell …, but did the Ghost of Sheen check behind the ears, though?

    Maybe it WASN’T Sheen’s doing, after all?!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Boz7rHYLj6s

  • Anri

    Out apologies – serious ethical issues have prevented us from doing business with the Catholic Church.
    Those wanting a pony should instead make the request directly to Princess Celestia. Her powers are just as imaginary as any saint’s, but she’s waaay nicer.

  • mordred

    Patron Saint of computer scientists?

    Hogwash, everybody who ever worked with a computer would agree that the patron of my profession must be Loki!

  • gedediah

    It is truly amazing how people continue to believe in God and miracles.

  • Zetopan

    Or even more likely they simply lied about the time interval.*

    *Assuming that they didn’t actually lie about the entire event.**
    **Which happens very often among religionists seeking miracles.

  • RainbowPhoenix

    If they had any credibility left, they lost it when they beatified Mother Theresa.

  • Broga

    The very idea is so silly that it is extraordinary that it has any traction left. Not only that but it is propagated at great expense from our taxes: padres in the army with the rank of major unless they have had a demotion; hospital chaplains wandering the wards in embarrassment looking for something to do.

    What must they feel like amongst workers with real skills from scientifically based training (nurses and doctors and others) who are in demand from patients.

  • Broga

    David Hume’s Maxim: ” “That no. testimony is sufficient to establish a miracle, unless the testimony be of such a kind, that its. falsehood would be more miraculous, than the fact, which it endeavours to establish.”

  • Lurker111

    “Sheen, who would not have looked out of place in a vampire movie …”

    Love it. Best line in an article that I’ve seen in WEEKS.

  • Milo C

    Since John Paul II’s sainthood I’ve realized that sainthood is a reward for popularity. The justification by finding ‘miracles’ is just a formality.