‘You’ve got wood!’ – Jesus’ manger relic returns to Bethlehem

‘You’ve got wood!’ – Jesus’ manger relic returns to Bethlehem December 1, 2019

THERE’S no pleasing some Christians.

Yesterday (Saturday) a piece of wood said to be from Jesus’ manger arrived in Bethlehem from the Vatican – but it’s reported that some are disappointed by its size.

Image via YouTube

Said Sandy Shahin Hijazeen, 32:

It’s a small piece, we thought it would be a bigger piece. When we heard that the manger is coming back we thought it would be the whole manger, but then we saw it.

The fragment, just a few centimetres long and encased in a silver-coloured ornamental table-top stand was unveiled to the public on Friday at the Notre Dame of Jerusalem Center, before it was taken to Bethlehem on Saturday.

It was once kept in the Basilica of Santa Maria Maggiore in Rome. It was handed over to the custodian of the Bethlehem church, who said it brought:

Great honour to believers and pilgrims in the area.

Brother Francesco Patton, the custodian of the Franciscan order in the Holy Land, said the relic dates back more than 2000 years and was sent to the Vatican in the seventh century. According to this report, he said Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas had asked Pope Francis to borrow the entire manger, but the Pope decided to send only a tiny portion of it to stay permanently in Bethlehem.

A procession of marching bands greeted the relic as it arrived in Bethlehem. It was placed in Saint Catherine’s Church, at the Church of the Nativity compound in Manger Square.

But not everyone voiced disappointment. Said Chris Gaicaman, 53, a Bethlehem homemaker, as she stood outside the church.

We are proud that part of the manger is back in Bethlehem because we feel that the soul of God is with us more than before.

Beneath a YouTube video of the the wood’s arrival, one pissed of Christian wrote:

I cannot comprehend why Francis is giving away Holy Relics … its just weird. Few months ago, he gave a Holy Relic of St Peter away… its worrisome to a Faithful Catholic no matter what Rite one associates themselves with. JESUS+CHRIST, true G+D and true man, is KING of the Universe and HIS Kingdom has no end.

Another commenter reacted thus:

Maybe is is because he knows that they are shallow fakes? I mean, there were notoriously enough pieces of the True Cross floating around in Medieval times that they could have built an entire Cathedral out of them and several European Churches still have Christ’s foreskin! I mean, people were ignorant and gullible in the past and apparently they still are now …

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  • Raymond Metcalfe

    Oh boy what an event I wonder when some one will claim that its because they prayed in front of this bit of wood some great miracle happened perhaps some ones dandruff was cured.

  • Broga

    This is high quality entertainment from the true believers. When I read about the guy complaining that he wasn’t sent the entire Manger the only response was to laugh. You don’t often get this class of comedy outside religion.

  • larry parker

    If anyone is interested, I have pieces of the Brooklyn Bridge for sale.
    And to preemptively quell any concerns, they are not pieces of gravel from my driveway.

  • Old Harry

    You need to ensure a representative C-14 and other sample can never be removed for Real World analysis.

    Maybe they could also send the Allen wrench from the flat pack tool kit for the Manger, if this is too meager?

  • CoastalMaineBird

    This is high quality entertainment

    Nah – it’s the same old show. Might be funny the first time you hear of it (“are they really THAT gullible?”). But after a few dozen iterations, it’s lost its appeal.

  • Jim Olsson

    How does one differentiate between wood from the cross, wood from the manger, and wood from the Holy Outhouse?

    Just curious…

  • Cozmo the Magician

    Cesorbot strikes again.. probably the ‘v’ word.. here is re-post with anti-censor stealth…

    It &#8203fills &#8203me &#8203with &#8203joy &#8203to &#8203know &#8203that &#8203the &#8203kiddy &#8203diddling &#8203church &#8203has &#8203been &#8203able &#8203to &#8203preserve &#8203a &#8203piece &#8203of &#8203wood &#8203for &#8203over 2k &#8203years. &#8203Amazing &#8203how &#8203they &#8203had &#8203such &#8203technology. &#8203Since &#8203they &#8203are &#8203giving &#8203away &#8203such &#8203valuable &#8203relics &#8203maybe &#8203they &#8203can &#8203share &#8203the &#8203scientific &#8203knowledge &#8203with &#8203world. &#8203After &#8203all, &#8203if &#8203they &#8203can &#8203preserve &#8203bio &#8203matter &#8203for &#82032000 &#8203years, &#8203helping &#8203people &#8203safely &#8203store &#8203food &#8203and &#8203drink &#8203in &#8203some &#8203of &#8203the &#8203less &#8203developed &#8203places &#8203on &#8203Earth &#8203should &#8203be &#8203a &#8203breeze.

    Also, &#8203can &#8203some &#8203bible &#8203scholar &#8203out &#8203there &#8203please &#8203tell &#8203me &#8203where &#8203in &#8203the &#8203big &#8203book &#8203of &#8203holy &#8203collectables &#8203it &#8203says &#8203how &#8203much &#8203the &#8203original &#8203owner &#8203was &#8203paid &#8203for &#8203this &#8203structure? &#8203After &#8203all &#8203, &#8203since &#8203we &#8203know &#8203exactly &#8203how &#8203many &#8203coins &#8203a &#8203untouched &#8203woman &#8203cost &#8203at &#8203the &#8203time, &#8203the &#8203value &#8203a &#8203few &#8203pieces &#8203of &#8203wood &#8203could &#8203further &#8203help &#8203us &#8203understand &#8203economic &#8203history.

    BTW &#8203folks, &#8203an &#8203angel &#8203appeared &#8203to &#8203me &#8203last &#8203night &#8203in &#8203a &#8203dream &#8203(You &#8203shoulda &#8203seen &#8203the &#8203wings &#8203on &#8203that &#8203cutie…) &#8203and &#8203told &#8203me &#8203that &#8203a &#8203miracle &#8203will &#8203occur &#8203in &#8203my &#8203apt &#8203sometime &#8203before &#8203I &#8203die. &#8203So &#8203this &#8203desk &#8203will &#8203be &#8203a &#8203holy &#8203relic. &#8203I’m &#8203willing &#8203to &#8203sell &#82031cm &#8203pieces &#8203for &#8203the &#8203low &#8203low &#8203low &#8203price &#8203of &#82032 &#8203virgins &#8203or &#82036 &#8203bars &#8203gold &#8203pressed &#8203latinum. &#8203The &#8203entire &#8203desk &#8203can &#8203be &#8203yours &#8203for &#8203flying &#8203carpet… &#8203I &#8203wanna &#8203get &#8203out &#8203of &#8203here &#8203before &#8203the &#8203miracle &#8203occurs.. &#8203i &#8203HATE &#8203tourists.

  • Jim Jones

    > I mean, people were ignorant and gullible in the past and apparently they still are now …

    And then there’s the laughably wrong “Shroud of Turin” which couldn’t be a more obvious fake.

  • Cozmo the Magician

    which shroud? The real fake, the counterfeit fake, the knock off fakes sold to tourists, the non existent fakes, or the fake I used as blanket for that wonderful picnic I had with my canadian girlfriend the first time we played ‘hide the holy relic’

  • Jim Jones

    You forgot the Titulus Crucis which was found about AD 325 by Saint Helena (the mother of Emperor Constantine the Great) after her pilgrimage to the Holy Land, during which she reportedly located the True Cross and many other relics which she gave to the new church.

    Imagine the luck of those people saving this stuff for years and then being able to sell it all for gold, 300 years later.

    /s (in case).

  • WallofSleep

    Hmmm… lemme have a look at my spell book…

    Eye of Newt…Check.
    Wing of Bat…Check.
    Blood of Virgin…Check.
    Gravel from Intended Victim’s Driveway… Aw…

    https://media.giphy.com/media/IYIlvuWc21U4g/giphy.gif

  • larry parker

    Joke’s on you. The gravel is from the neighbors dr……………oops, darn! Back to the drawing board.

  • Broga

    I can’t help myself. I had been away on some work and hadn’t had my usual fix of The Freethinker. I came back a bit depressed about Brexit. I thought The Freethinker, and reading some of the gems there would cheer me up. Never fails. And this one was all I needed. Especially:
    “Said Sandy Shahin Hijazeen, 32:

    It’s a small piece, we thought it would be a bigger piece. When we heard that the manger is coming back we thought it would be the whole manger, but then we saw it.” And more of the same.

  • Die Anyway

    ‘You’ve got wood!’

    That’s what she said.

  • sweeks

    Well, at least *someone* has wood in Bethlehem!

  • Michael Neville

    The earliest document which discussed the Shroud of Turin was from a bishop to the Inquisition. The bishop reported that the shroud was a forgery and the authorities knew who the forger was.

  • birgerjohansson

    Helena was fooled by clever locals who told her the “location” of biblical Nazareth… thus making money on the lucrative pilgrimage business.
    Archaeologists have completely failed to find remnants of any big settlement from the era.
    -Some say the description of Jesus as a Nazarene was a second-century intention of christians who wanted to present him as a “nazarite”, an old-testament concept.
    Anyway, bishop Origen stated it was hard to locate the places mentioned in the New Testament, which makes me suspect much was made up…

  • Jim Jones

    ISTR Nozrim and Al Nasara also. It was a sect of Judaism.

  • Jim Jones

    The ‘Jesus’ in the shroud is 2″ thick. A real Slender Man indeed.

  • Guestie

    Christopher Buckley wrote a novel about a medieval relic hunter that is delightful. Title escapes me right now but shouldn’t be hard to find. The protagonist is often dubious of the claims of people trying to sell him relics.

  • Guestie

    Also, multiple churches have his skull. Maybe that’s where the Trinity comes from.

  • He would have been stouter if not for that whole loaves and fishes incident.

  • Illithid

    Unfortumately, it’s “just a few centimeters long”.

  • Richard B

    I think there are something like 12 heads of John the Baptist floating around some where. I believe relics to smack of idolatry.

  • Robert McLean

    Perhaps the baby Jesus was in fallacy, (in keeping with the nonsense), more a fetus Jesus?

  • Michael Newsham

    Reminds me of Father Guido Sarducci, SNL’s gossip columnist for the Vatican L’Osservatore Romano. He went down to a Papal pilgrimage in Mexico, where he was offered the menu for the Last Supper, but couldn’t afford it, though he did manage to snag the menu for the Last Brunch. He also got Jesus’ high school graduation photo, wearing a suit jacket and tie- “short hair, no beard, He looked real straight.”

  • Vanity Unfair

    Nothing new here; one is, of course, reminded of Chaucer’s Pardoner (“A” Level Eng Lit over half a century ago). Using Nevill Coghill’s admirable translation:

    …There was no pardoner of equal grace,
    For in his trunk he had a pillow-case
    Which he asserted was Our Lady’s veil.
    He said he had a gobbet of the sail
    Saint Peter had the time when he made bold
    To walk the waves, till Jesu Christ took hold.
    He had a cross of metal set with stones
    And, in a glass, a rubble of pigs’ bones.
    And with these relics, any time he found
    Some poor up-country parson to astound,
    On one short day, in money down, he drew
    More than the parson in a month or two…

    Have we learned nothing?
    In case we haven’t, is anybody interested in purchasing this guaranteed, complete relic of one of the twelve disciples? I have the portable crib that bore the infant later to become JHWH’s instrument of founding the Christian Church. I am now entertaining bids for Judas’s carry-cot.
    Some temptations cannot be resisted.

  • Raging Bee

    A silver-COLOURED ornamental table-top stand?! Not actual silver? That’s the biggest disappointment. You’d think the Vat, of all people, could spring for sterling silver…

  • Raging Bee

    A “holy relic” of someone who’s called “the Doubter?” That’s, like, totally meta!

  • Raging Bee

    Sort of like “Badon Hill” in the King Arthur legends…

  • David Cromie

    Fake relics are just one of the Roman church’s scams, scams that have been perpetrated on the seilierate and superstitious since the Middle Ages, if not before.

  • David Cromie

    Carbon dating has proved it to be so (i.e., a Mediaeval hoax), but the Roman church, who commissioned the investigation in the first place, do not accept the scientific findings.

  • S. Arch

    So, someone somewhere once had possession of “Jesus’ Manger” and they chucked all of it except this one little unidentifiable piece? Call me skeptical.

  • C_Alan_Nault

    How do they know it’s not wood from Noah’s ark? Or from the cross?

  • Dan Hunter

    Tell me more! Have they identified which stable at which of Trump’s hotels the manger was from?

  • Fred Rickson

    I’m suspicious; it has a purple “Walmart” stamped on the side.

  • Marc Weeks

    What, no lamb or donkey coprolites?

  • Judy Thompson

    i have also read that there were 15 authentic foreskins, which makes it REALLY bizarre. No wonder he was always portrayed as decently draped whilst on the cross…not to mention the basketsful of the ‘one true cross”, one of which I had, when my mother and her husband went to Rome to visit the Pope, and this was their souvenir of the trip.

  • Vanity Unfair

    https://www.abebooks.co.uk

    THE RELIC MASTER : A Novel

    Christopher Buckley

    ISBN 10: 1501125761 / ISBN 13: 9781501125768

    Published by Simon & Schuster Paperbacks, New York, NY, 2016

    BRAND NEW & Collectible. First Edition, First
    Printing. Fascinating, witty, hilarious & irreverent
    religio-socio-political historical novel from satirist Christopher
    Buckley of “Thank You for Smoking” fame. Buckely, turns the clock back
    to 1517, Northern Europe, a time rich in hypocrisy, corruption, greed,
    & self-delusion not unlike the landscape of American politics in the
    run-up to the 2016 election. An outraged monk named Martin Luther is
    attacking corruption, sexual, financial and spiritual within the Roman
    Catholic Church. Superb preface describes a 16th century relic fair in
    Rome where on sale are an array of offerings of sanctity. Innumerable
    bits & pieces of reputed saints and martyrs skulls, teeth, bones,
    finger nails & hair along with iron bars from torture grilles, whips
    & thorns, as well as nails, wood with blood from the crucifixion
    and even a vial with drops of the Virgin s breast milk — healthy
    source of revenue for Churrch & private parties in line with market
    demands sets the scene. The hero (or, anit-hero) of the tale, Dimas, a
    some-what morally compromised ex-soldier & ex-monk, teams up with
    gifted artist, Durer. Together, along with other mercenaries at open
    markets, they sell Christ’s burial shroud to the soon-to-be Cardinal
    Albrecht. Alas, Dürer s reckless boasting makes public their trickery.
    Enter, then, a lustful count, a beautiful female apothecary, and others
    ready to pofit. Bookseller Inventory # 018707

    sic Definitely sounds intriguing.

  • Just Bob

    Joke among the Muslims during the crusades:
    “Why are there no more cedars in Lebanon? Because every Frank [Christian] has a piece of the True Cross.”

  • Guestie

    Thank you. I meant to look it up but got distracted.

  • rationalobservations?

    It’s worth noting that there is no historical trace of the existence or centuries later written exploits of “Jesus” from within the first century and over 80% of christian texts and fake artefacts date from later than the 11th century.