Orlando’s ‘everlasting’ biblical theme park is heading for the rocks

Orlando’s ‘everlasting’ biblical theme park is heading for the rocks February 23, 2020

ORLANDO in Florida is renowned for a wide selection of theme parks, including The Holy Land Experience, which turns the Bible into song-and-dance routines and playlets for the benefit of Christians who adore cheesy entertainment with lashings of Jesus.

In calling for donations, the park says on its website:

Thousands of visitors from all over the world come to The Holy Land Experience to witness the love of Christ.
 Show your support today and spread the gospel. Your contribution helps us create an everlasting experience.

“Everlasting?”

Hardly. The  park is all but kaput, and the singing and dancing plus lessons on how to unleash “your inner warrior” will cease this April. The “inner warrior”, by the way, is a reference to:

Our Roman Soldier Training Camp, get ready to train alongside Rome’s greatest defenders as you gear up with your sword and shield and develop your fighting skills taught by our very own soldiers.

Image via The Holy Land Experience

The park, which has an entry charge of $50 for adults, has announced plans to shut down their elaborate stage productions starting on April 18. A 2020 Workers Adjustment statement revealed that it would be laying off 118 employees.

Among the eliminated positions are 43 actors and musicians, 17 guest services associates, as well as numerous techs, retail employees and food service workers. Workers will be offered severance based on their seniority.

Contemporary Christian music station WPOZ said the layoffs mean that the park will shut down completely, though the park’s general manager Mike Everett denied this:

The change will refocus the park on its original plan and function. The Scriptorium, which holds rare and unique biblical artifacts, and a scale model of ancient Jerusalem and the city of David, will continue to serve as the park’s main educational attractions.

The management team will be scouting out “the best and most efficient use of the property, assessing other economic opportunities, including redevelopment,” Everett said.

Images via YouTube

These plans mean that 90 percent of the 19-year-old park will be shutting down. However, Live Church Orlando, led by pastors Tye and Shanté Tribbett, above, will continue to use the Holy Land’s 2,000-seat Church of All Nations auditorium to hold church services. Tickets prices for adults will remain at $50.

Trinity Broadcasting Network owned The Holy Land Experience from 2007 to 2016 and later distanced itself from the attraction. However, it continued to promote the park and still owns the property where it stands.

TBN’s Marketing Director Nate Daniels said in January that the property is potentially up for sale.

There’s been a lot of development in the area. We own a significant part of land around the park, not just the park itself. There’s the possibility of selling a part of it and maintaining the actual park area.

The property is valued at around $20 million.


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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Broga

    “Workers Adjustment statement revealed……” Is that the same as being “sacked?” I like “revealed”. So biblical with its resonance of revelations.

    “rare and unique biblical artefacts”. I hope these include pieces of the genuine cross on which “our Lord” was crucified. There are enough already to build twenty crosses so a piece should be in possession of the “Holy Land Experience”.

  • Jim Jones

    Money talks. Jesus walks.

  • Donalbain

    Train to be one of the soldiers who killed your god.

    That’s a strange attraction.

  • Meurig ap Gweirydd

    I see the problem here. Christian church leaders are supposed to lead the flock, not fleece it.

  • Barry Duke

    Christians do love their euphemisms, Broga. For example, they rarely bring them selves to say someone is dead. It’s always she/he is “now in the arms of the Lord/Jesus/angels.” Or she/he “went to sleep.” Then there’s “It is a deep spiritual truth, too complex for us to grasp.”. This, according to Ex-Christian, means “I don’t know what the fuck this means, but I am going to believe it anyway.” More here: https://new.exchristian.net/2011/04/christian-euphemisms.html

    Last November I wrote a piece for Euro Weekly News saying how much I detest euphemisms: https://www.euroweeklynews.com/2019/11/16/dont-beat-about-the-bush/#.XlLEtkN7lgc

    As for the artefacts, one has to wonder how many were illegally plundered. https://churchleaders.com/news/364196-museum-of-the-bible-confirms-it-was-sold-illegal-artifacts.html

  • laura1919

    Can the Satanic Temple buy the property? Pretty please? I’d pitch in for that.

  • barriejohn

    Jesus’s foreskin, no doubt! Hahahahaha!!!!!

  • barriejohn

    Well, a true Holy Land experience would involve slaughter, pillage, and total destruction by fire, wouldn’t it?

  • TheBookOfDavid

    So the Holy Land Experience is not shutting down, so much as scaling back to focus on attractions with a proven track record of success. Because we all know how much kids love scriptoria and static displays of cities. News of its demise is slightly exaggerated.

  • Barry Duke

    And don’t forget the stonings and crucifixions.

  • Norman Parron

    If so many came to see, why do you need donations??

  • digital bookworm

    I thought so too.

  • digital bookworm

    Should be about the right amount of land for a nice children’s science museum.

  • ralphmeyer

    The sooner this piece of religious garbage goes down the tubes and takes its creators and backers broke, the better!!!

  • Cozmo the Magician

    They are going to get rid of 90% of their staff, and get rid of 90% of the current ‘attractions’ but NEVER FEAR you will STILL pay the SAME PRICE to get in. How XTIAN of them.

  • Cozmo the Magician

    Oh, you mean the: Not NAZI at all, just totally historic ‘You Too can ‮lliK‬ a Jew’ show?

  • Cozmo the Magician

    But don’t worry dads… the unadvertised attraction of taking foreign virgins and ‘converting’ them will still be going on. They have a NEW supplier of young flesh…

    Hey, if the rightwingnuts can say a pizza parlor was a hot a hot spot for hillary’s ‮odep‬ basement games, I can play that game too!

  • Raging Bee

    Our Roman Soldier Training Camp, get ready to train alongside Rome’s greatest defenders…

    …so we can crucify the next foreign-born socialist giving away free healthcare?

  • Rational Human

    This torture pron cheese fest is featured in Bill Maher’s “Religulous” .

  • Robert McLean

    “The Scriptorium”, is that the place poorly received Scripts go before being shredded?

  • barriejohn

    Salvation Army: “Promoted to Glory”. It’s one of the best!

  • barriejohn

    Especially if anyone says: “Jehovah”!

  • Khanh Ho

    The leaders refer to themselves as “shepherds” and their flock as “sheep”. I suppose they al DOl know why shepherds keep sheep.

  • Matt G

    You’re only making it worse for yourself!

  • AJ

    that’s what disgusted me the most. get rid of 90% of the park but keep the 50$ price tag the same

  • AJ

    Our Roman Soldier Training Camp, get ready to train alongside Rome’s
    greatest defenders as you gear up with your sword and shield and
    develop your fighting skills taught by our very own soldiers.

    ummm… they do realize that Rome was a hostile occupying force in Israel who crucified Jesus, right?

  • Cozmo the Magician

    They just following in donny’s footsteps… Lets RAISE taxes and CUT services. I’m shocked they did not up the admission fee.

  • andrewm031

    Sounds to me like you’d need the vomitorium to be close by.

  • Great content! Super high-quality! Keep it up! 🙂

  • barriejohn

    Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

  • Garry Willits

    It left me bemused. If they are failing to attract enough visitors with the attractions do thy seriously expect people to pay the same to see “rare and unique biblical artifacts, and a scale model of ancient Jerusalem and the city of David”
    That makes zero sense.

  • Garry Willits

    yeah but Christianity is totally roman invention – they changed so much. So there is that.

  • Meurig ap Gweirydd

    With real sheep and real shepherds, you’d be correct, but in KKKristian world fleecing the flock is all the leaders are good for.

  • Sue Smith

    Waiting for the same fate to befall Ken Ham and his ridiculous ark built with tax funded exemptions. These people don’t seem to grasp the concept of repeat business as a necessity to continue.

  • Douglas Bailey

    I guess they didn’t pray enough for success. The photos of the “actors” doesn’t look like any represent a “Holy Land” appearance. If they even know what/where the holy land is. I’d wager none of the staff are actually Jewish or pagan as they would have been historically.
    I’ll bet you the food menu included items that are prohibited by their bible such as pork and shellfish. Not that they or guests would know what’s actually in their bible.

  • ERRN55

    I think it’s safe to say that they have NOTHING in the way of actual artifacts!

  • I can just soplift a Wholly Babble for free.

  • Nah…that ascended to heaven all by its itty-bitty self.

  • Cadfael

    That was an awesome scene when the “lady supervisor” was having a cow about Maher even being there and the fact that SHE hadn’t been informed that he was in the park.

  • Gord O’Mitey

    Verily I say unto ye,their prayers fell upon My deaf ears, for their routines didst not praiseth Me enough. I demand encomiums and paeans in Mine honour 24/7, eh. And the sacrifice of burning flesh, its odour wafting up into My Heavenly abode.

  • Raging Bee

    Answer: they don’t really love either. They just pretend to love a whitewashed, de-liberalized imagining of the Middle-Eastern guy.