‘Prophet’ asks for $50-m to resurrect Kobe Bryant and his daughter

‘Prophet’ asks for $50-m to resurrect Kobe Bryant and his daughter February 2, 2020
Image via Facebook

GHANAIAN ‘prophet’ Nigel Gaisie, above, said that the death last Sunday of NBA legend Kobe Bryant, 41, and his daughter Gianna, 13, in a helicopter crash near Los Angeles hadn’t been sanctioned by God, and that he could resurrect them in exchange for $50-m.

Seven others died in the crash.

The shameless charlatan, who heads the Prophetic Hill Chapel in Accra, said, that the Lord had instructed him to bring the pair back to life.

The Lord just took me into the spirit world, and I have seen a great man fall … This news will shake the entire world because of how great this man is. I see a lot of people on social media talking about the man for weeks to come and I see a lot of sad faces.

America will mourn this great man. The Lord then instructed me to announce to the family of this man, the American embassy in Ghana and the entire world that He the Lord has not sanctioned the death of this man.

He said that he could reverse the tragedy – but only if 10 percent of Kobe’s net worth were to be handed over to him.

God said to the preacher:

Nigel, tell the family of this man and tell the entire world, should they agree to pay my tithes and offerings I will use you as a vessel to bring this man and his daughter back to life.

Gaisie said that if the money was not handed over, there was no way he could perform the resurrection.

The man is worth 500 million dollars and should the family agree to give 10 percent of his income to me, I will bring them back to life. Thus sayeth the Lord!

Image via Right Wing Watch

Meanwhile Right Wing Watch reports that another imbecile  – American conspiracy theorist Chris McDonald, above, has suggested that “witchcraft” was used by Hillary Clinton to cause Bryant’s death.

 …. McDonald dedicated the first hour and a half of his “The MC Files” program last night to asserting that the recent death of former professional basketball player Kobe Bryant was an occult “ritual sacrifice” that may possibly have been orchestrated by Hillary Clinton, who everyone knows is a witch.

McDonald, an unmitigated conspiracy theorist who was recently welcomed to Capitol Hill by Republican Rep. Phil Roe of Tennessee, interviewed self-proclaimed “political occultist expert” Cory Daniel about Bryant’s death.

After Daniel asserted that Bryant was undoubtedly a witch and McDonald declared that his death was obviously a “ritual sacrifice,” McDonald asked the question that was on everybody’s mind: Could Hillary Clinton have orchestrated Bryant’s death through witchcraft?

“This is the only wild conspiracy theory I am going to ever toss out there on this program,” McDonald laughably asserted. “I normally don’t do this, but this is just a food for thought question.”

“We all know that it is pretty much a given that Mrs. HRC … is a witch,” McDonald continued. “Can a witch cast a spell on something like this to cause death and not be [known]? I’m just throwing that out. I don’t know anything about this stuff, you do. Is that possible if she wanted to get rid of Kobe? Please, Right Wing Watch, don’t be putting in that me and Cory are saying this; this is just a food for thought question. Do you think Hillary would be able to do it if she wanted to do it?”

Hat tip: Robert Stovold (Ghana report)

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  • johnsoncatman

    We all know that it is pretty much a given that Mrs. HRC … is a witch

    No, it is not a “given”. No one with two brain cells to rub together would grant that premise.

  • Matt G

    Just when you thought Christians (the religious in general) had sunk to the lowest possible point….

  • david coxill

    I think religion was one of the worst things the west inflected on Africa ,too be honest not just the west .

  • Georgia Sam

    Such a deal I got for you! I’ll resurrect them for 40 million! Act fast, this is a limited time offer!

  • s clark

    I’d have a red-errection too if someone gave me 40 million dollars!!!!!

  • Jim Jones

    I have $100 Trillion uɐǝʍqɐqɯᴉZ Dollars. He should go ahead knowing I have the resources to pay him.

  • Jim Jones

    If he keeps talking like this, I see a toad in his future – in that he’ll become one.

    Oops! Too late!

  • Freodin

    “The West” has exploited Africa for centuries. It’s only fair if an African scam artist tries to eploit back some of it. 😉

  • LeekSoup

    We can all laugh at this opportunist clown, but his true believer followers will all be shaking their heads that it’s such a shame Kobe’s family weren’t willing to obey God and give their tithe, and how their love of money prevented this miracle from occurring. That is how the huckster will spin it, no doubt about it.

    A real miracle worker wouldn’t make it dependent on money. If you could do that you’d be the most sought after man on the planet.

  • Matt G

    Outrageous! I’ll do it for just $30 million! I’ll just need $60 million in advance to cover certain expenses.

  • raven

    I’ll do it for $25 million.
    My powers of resurrection are the equal of anyone who has ever lived.
    So are my cat’s powers of resurrection.

  • raven

    Do you think Hillary would be able to do it if she wanted to do it?”

    Hillary’s witch powers are the equal of any witch that ever lived.
    Which means, she couldn’t do anything that requires actual magic.

  • I thought the Lake of Fire had a place reserved for such people.

  • Raymond Metcalfe

    I do it for a round of beers in my local and a curry after.

  • salsero56 .

    This guy should be arrested and the key thrown away.

  • laura1919

    I simply can’t help thinking, “She turned me into a newt!”

  • laura1919

    Some recent escapades demonstrate they’re not satisfied with reactionary Muslims being the most ludicrous and violent loonies on the planet.

  • It’s a race to the bottom.

  • Drat

    From the news article:

    He the Lord has not sanctioned the death of this man

    But how can anything happen that isn’t part of your god’s plan? Isn’t that supposed to be logically impossible? Is your god not all-knowing and perfect? Christ, it’s like all these people are just making ‮tihs‬ up.

    As for Evil Niles Crane™…

    Please, Right Wing Watch, don’t be putting in that me and Cory are saying this; this is just a food for thought question.

    You’re JAQing off.

    Do you think Hillary would be able to do it if she wanted to do it?

    How do we know you didn’t have something to do with it? Maybe if you wanted something to blame on Hillary, you could have paid someone to sabotage the helicopter. Hey, I’m Just Asking Questions!

  • Raging Bee

    So he’s demanding a totally implausible reward to something totally implausible? That sounds fair…

  • Raging Bee

    Maybe he thinks his family will pay to keep him out of it?

  • Raging Bee

    Wait, is this guy Catholic? This might be Indulgences 2.0…

  • Jenn H

    Being “worth” $500 million doesn’t mean having that much available in terms of cash and liquid assets. I doubt Kobe’s family could give him $50 million even if they wanted to.

    If course this guy isn’t offering to resurrect the other 7, or anyone else who wasn’t wealthy and famous. That said, demanding large sums of money before preforming a miracle is an easy way to avoid awkward questions when said miracle doesn’t happen.

  • Jezebel’sOlderSister

    That was last week — I think the window of opportunity for resurrections has closed.

  • Jezebel’sOlderSister

    1 MILLION UPVOTES!!!!

  • Jezebel’sOlderSister

    Which one?

  • Raging Bee

    Well, if the Lord didn’t sanction the death of this man, then the Lord can poof $50M into this guy’s bank account and get it fixed already.

  • barriejohn

    Just wondering where the family of Lazarus obtained $50 million (or equivalent).

  • EllyR

    He is welcome to try… COD!

  • This is beyond obscene and disgusting. I feel badly for his family and for conjobs to pull this stunt is unconscionable. Let this man RIP and his family time to grieve.

  • They did the same thing to the First Nations Peoples when they invaded and stole the land known as America.

  • Eric Schmitz

    Does he mean to do anything for the other seven people? Or were their deaths “sanctioned by God,” and Bryant and his daughter just collateral damage?

  • David Heath

    There’s a bottom? Who knew…

  • Connie Beane

    And they’re all carrying shovels.

  • Connie Beane

    I’ll do it for $40 million and only ten percent down, cash only, small bills.

  • Connie Beane

    “A real miracle worker.” Now there’s an oxymoron for you.

  • Hermes Brookover

    “hadn’t been sanctioned by God” Had it not been sanctioned by Gassies special god then it would not have happened. All of these fundie thief types are imbeeciles of the highest order. Maybe its lowest order, i am not sure.

  • Mythblaster

    After reaching absolute rock bottom, Christians are famous for breaking out their jack-hammers and digging even deeper…

  • If thid god fellow is all he’s cracked up to be, why does he need this Gaisie¹ fellow to carry his holy water for him? (Hint: probably the same reason he needs a starship). I guess Gaisie’s deity isn’t what he used to be.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d271bb36e37208eb78d1f1ffaf97158aab3ee3165ca36073b8445e83c6e09600.jpg

    ¹I can’t read or say that name without thinking of John Gacy.

  • A clown? Well, his name is Gacy Gaisie.

  • BlueSurgeon

    I hereby volunteer to resurrect the other seven for a mere £10 million, no questions asked.

  • BlueSurgeon

    No, it wasn’t “sanctioned by god”, Kobe isn’t really dead, don’t you understand? He has just been put on ice while god sees who has faith in his power. Cough up the cash and you can have him back.

  • DrSkeep

    And in other Kobe News . . . .

  • John Norris

    So this guy is pissing off a witch with the power to kill at a great distance. I wonder how his life insurance policy covers death by witchcraft, act of god?

  • commentor

    His friends will find it.