It’s been awhile since I wrote a blog post and it’s about high time that I give y’all an update!
If you read my last post then you know that I’ve been in Hermit mode since giving birth to my daughter. I feel like I’ve been wandering in a cavern, feeling my hands along the walls as I am led down a path to who knows where. For the past few months, I’ve leaned in hard to my devotional practices to Hekate with the guidance of Jack Grayle’s Hekataeon. The Hekataeon is a modern grimoire (some say ‘hymnal’) to Hekate and a deeply transformational experience for the person who undertakes this great tome. I’ll write up a review one day!
Hekate has led me down challenging routes before and the past eight months have been nothing short of arduous. This past weekend, my coven working partner and I elevated two of our initiates to the Gardnerian Third Degree. They also hived and initiated their first student. I remember telling my working partner that I felt like I could finally exhale following their elevation. Through passing the tradition in its fullest form – from initiating them to elevating them through the degrees to witnessing them hive and initiate their first student – I had finally fulfilled what I felt was a great obligation and desire.
My working partner and I also decided to hang up our coven leader witch hats, so to speak, and have entered into “retirement.” For me, I say I’m “semi-retired” because I can never know the full will of the Gods and I may one day be called to lead a Gard coven again. However, I’m now training with a coven that passes two Wiccan traditions, namely Sacred Pentagraph and Horsa. I had to get to the point where I could fully commit myself to training with a new tradition and I couldn’t do it while leading a coven in another. Some can but I cannot. So, it was now or never.
I’m Here and I’m Queer (and my back pain is moderate to severe)
My desire to train in Sacred Pentagraph started back in July of 2022 back when an ugly schism occurred in the Gardnerian tradition over the acceptance of trans-initiates and queer theology. I won’t rehash what happened here but let’s just say it was damaging (and embarrassing) to many initiates and seekers of the tradition. What originally caught my eye about Sacred Pentagraph was that they very publicly welcome and include queer folk in their practices. In fact, one of the tradition’s founders was gay!
This was the Instagram post that hooked me and over the next few months I observed how they spoke about their practices on their platforms. It took me a couple of months to work up the nerve to reach out to the leaders of Sacred Pentagraph but I’m so glad that I did. Following a telephone and Zoom interview with the tradition’s elders, I visited them in Samhain of 2022. I was greeted to incredible hospitality, despite the fact that I was a stranger to most of the people there. The interesting (and best) part was that I felt like I had known many of these people before. I felt safe and welcome, and had some of the most fun with other witches that I had ever had!
Just before visiting the coven, I had only just found out I was pregnant (literally found out the day before I went to meet these folks). I think it took me getting pregnant, deciding to go on sabbatical from coven leadership, and then deciding to hang up coven leadership for me to finally fully commit to Sacred Pentagraph. In other words, I had to tie up a few loose ends with Gardnerian Wicca before I could rightly move on to something else. I didn’t know that then but it’s obvious to me now. I think I thought I could do both, and I imagine many people can and do, but I could not.
But Wait, There’s More
It’s not just that Sacred Pentagraph and Horsa are queer-inclusive (not just friendly!), but reading through the publicly available materials spoke to me on a deeper level. Some of us are content with practicing a singular tradition all our lives and that’s wonderful! There are some of us that desire and need more, however. Gardnerian Wicca taught me so much and I will carry what I’ve learned from it forever. I’m a better person and witch because of that tradition and now it’s time I learn how to be an even better version of myself through another. If I want to grow then I need to change the environment in which I’m trying to grow. Sometimes we outgrow our containers, right?
I don’t know where the road will lead me, as the light from Hekate’s guiding torches can only illumine so much to me at a time. But I trust that She guides me where I’m meant to be, and with whom, and will be my companion the whole way through. Blessed be the Forked Path.
Does this mean I’m no longer Gardnerian?
Quite the contrary. First of all, you can’t uninitiate someone and the tradition is still near and dear to my heart, as are many of its members. While I’m no longer formally affiliated with a Gardnerian coven, I do plan to circle and gather with some close friends from time to time.
So what does this mean for my blog and Instagram?
I’m still planning to keep The Gardnerian Librarian name, as it still represents aspects of my life. However, now I’ll be including updates on my journey through training in Sacred Pentagraph. I will not divulge the names or locations of any tradition members or covens, nor will I include oathbound information – just like what you have expected of me as a Gardnerian.
If you’re interested to learn more about Sacred Pentagraph, please visit their website. You can also own a set of the public Sacred Pentagraph materials by purchasing a copy of the one or two-volume sets, (Books I-V), written by one of the tradition’s elders, Tarostar. The Sacred Pentagraph and Horsa elders are also very active on their social media platforms, so please reach out to them there if you have questions about the tradition.
More to come, my friends!