Biscuits and Ammo: Celebrating Independence with Bullets, Old Glory, and Chicken?

Biscuits and Ammo: Celebrating Independence with Bullets, Old Glory, and Chicken? July 2, 2015

My family usually celebrates Independence Day by going to local events. Fireworks at the park, by the lake, or the recreation center. Its a blast. It has a Sarah Palin-esque”real America” small towny feel to it (You betcha).  It is a very new tradition for me. The kids love it.


Now, straight up, I didn’t always celebrate the fourth. That came with children. When I was a kid, I was acutely aware that the holiday was fundamentally about celebrating freedom for some, and not quite all. Imagine me partaking in the revelry of a system of oppression and white supremacy, built on the enslavement of a people that looked like me for the advancement of unfair distribution of wealth for white land owners, who would then further perpetuate their dominion over said people for hundreds of years. Sorry…

Homey D Clown
Homey D Clown

Kids can mellow you out a little though 😉 And fireworks can be cool.

Growing up in the Big Apple, I find that Texas celebrations differ. In NYC, we went over the top with lasers, music, etc.. All, incidentally, with a shackled Lady Liberty as the backdrop.

(Image via Anthony.Quintano.CC)
(Image via Anthony.Quintano.CC)

But in The South…

“Happy Fourth o’ July! Gotta gun, have a biscuit. “

Where else do you celebrate the fourth by getting a free chicken combo meal with proof of a concealed handgun license?image Bullets, Old Glory and Chicken!

At best, it ends as a bad joke. Worse, its an American cliché (or horror story). And its dine in, which means that the people you don’t see paying – are strapped! I bet they’ll get the best damn customer service experiences of their lives .

“Excuse me, I said EXTRA CRISPY” – not even a blink, “Yes sir… have a nice day”.

Seriously, has society made the decision that’s how we want to live? Unspoken intimidation due to the uncertainty of arms? Rewarding carrying concealed weapons with… chicken tenders? Control through fear, but no fear of gastroenteritis? People get to stand their ground wherever they claim in States like Texas, usually unchallenged. In addition, our Governor just signed into law expanded open carry, while quoting Jefferson:

“Thomas Jefferson said that ‘laws that forbid the carrying of arms disarm only those who are not inclined to commit crime,’”

That’s text book NRA. So legal gun owners don’t commit crime – just like cops are never guilty. Let’s ignore the fact that Dylann Roof killed 9 people with a gun he legally purchased. The parallelism in those two statements,  in that sentiment, is a reflection of bullet based authority. It’s very American. And biblical.

For he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer. -Romans 13:4

The supposition is that law enforcement and law-abiding citizens never draw unless they’ve been wronged, so the person they dropped must be guilty. They are empowered by God. If you start from that position, no wonder crooked blue rarely gets prosecuted. He “must’ve” had a reason to shoot, just as the officer that killed Tamir Rice, Walter Scott, and the officers that pumped 49 bullets into Amadou Diallo did. What happens if we change the assumption to one where the perpetrator has the “freedom to live” instead? That whole “Life, liberty….” thing.

Or does that still only apply to some?

You’d quickly see that this particular way of celebrating the fourth is a nod to power – not an affirmation of freedom. It can’t be. Not when other citizens are afraid to stand in line for fried okra ‘cuz you gotta carry your Glock with pride. Its a celebration of more spilled red by white or blue.

So no, I won’t be stopping at Chicken Express to pick up a gallon of sweet tea on the way to that McKinney pool party that I will still not be going to.


Edit: confirmed report of the promotional blitz in Magnolia, Arkansas and Louisiana.

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