Don’t Talk About it if You Don’t Live it

I’m just going to come out and say it straight… stop talking about things as an expert when you have no experience ever going through them.

Let me give this statement some context. Recently I found myself in a group of people and we were equally sharing and discussing different issues. So much of what was said by many of those present had a tremendous impact on me and challenged me. There was one man in particular who was saying all of the right things, things that you would think should inspire someone in the matter he was discussing… however his words failed to move me like those from the others. Sometime after the conversation, I found out that this guy wasn’t very successful and as a matter of fact, he had very LITTLE SUCCESS in the area he was going on about. It clicked! He may have been saying clever things and sharing verifiable knowledge, but he was talking about matters far exceeding his personal level of expertise. He may have pulled the wool over the eyes of the rest of us listening, but essentially, he wasted his time and ours. His time could have been much better spent speaking on things he knew about, things that may have actually been helpful to those of us listening.

Let’s be honest, in the days of social media anyone can be an expert. We can all carry on about just any topic we please and no sweat equity to back it. A common example in my life is men and women teaching about church planting at large conferences, who have never EVER planted a church. Most times, trying to give advice on things you have no track record in like this are more dangerous than they seem. You might be on the edge of your seat taking careful notes of everything they say. You inevitably go back to your city, to your church plant and of course you try to apply this new found knowledge. And in almost no time flat, everything you have built from these “great ideas” falls apart. Yes this might be an extreme example, but you hear me and hopefully you see how bad things could potentially get.

If I ever start communicating how important it is to become a vegan and live off quinoa alone, that would be a good time to ignore everything I say after that. At that very moment, I have started speaking way out of my level of expertise (seeing as how I thank God daily that bacon is acceptable to eat according to the New Testament). So, why do we talk about things we have no idea legitimate success in? Like most other bad ideas, we want to impress people. However, sooner or later it will become VERY OBVIOUS that you are not speaking authentically. Right now, we should be desperate for wisdom and humility. We are a culture and a people seeking out knowledge and life experience across all areas. We are sick and tired of cute sayings, we need church builders, business entrepreneurs, parents, teachers, and anyone else with a voice to share from experience – the good and the failed attempts.

It’s okay if 20 people are showing up to your church, or you only have 5 customers in your shop, and if you have a 5 year old who is throwing tantrums at every moment, that is reality. Please hear me, there is nothing wrong with dreaming and aspiring, but not at the cost of wisdom and truth. We need to be comfortable with where we are and vulnerable enough to express where we one day hope to be. If you have read my blogs, and you don’t know anything else about me, you know that I am a black man with a heart for racial reconciliation. Right now, there are so many platforms filled with people talking about this topic of reconciliation between races, people in the church talking about it who pastor churches that are monochromatic. These people may have great hearts, but they need to humble themselves and make room on the stage to invite people to speak who are living what they themselves say they are striving for. No one knows everything, we all have different talents, gifts, and wisdom. Speaking about something you have no work in the earth to back up simply weakens leadership. People don’t want to follow someone who has all the answers, they want to follow someone who is authentic and willing to admit when they need someone else to show them how to do the very thing that they aspire to do.

I’ll end with this, please, please, please stop commanding the mic if it isn’t your song to rap. Like my favorite rapper of all time says, “Couldn’t talk about it if you ain’t lived it.”