Squatters In Your Head: Maintaining Your Mental Real Estate

You’ve heard of squatters, right? Squatters are basically people who take up residence in places that don’t belong to them and once they take up residence, they are incredibly hard to remove. Our legal system is so broken that, in some places, people can actually steal your home, after breaking and entering, and actually get away with it. That is so horribly wrong but there is something that just might be worse…

Your Most Valuable Real Estate

Okay, your home is likely the biggest investment you have, but there is real estate in your life that has higher value. It’s the real estate between your ears. It’s your mind. This is where we find things like peace of mind, happiness, joy and hope. With that real estate in tact, much of your life will be good, but what if you have a hard time finding those things? Maybe you have a squatter.

What Is A Squatter?

Just like the fiends who take over the homes of the unsuspecting, the squatters in your head are usually uninvited, but they come in and take over anyway. They live in your head, rent free, and they can be a real bear to evict. They squeeze the peace, joy, happiness and hope out of your life, and they need to go before they consume all of your most valuable real estate. 

How Do These Squatters Get In?

I know I just said they were uninvited guests, but there is a caveat. There are things they do to get in as well as things we do that unwittingly let them in. One of the easiest ways they get in is through the back door known as social media. Something happens, and they comment, sometimes it’s to a post of yours, and sometimes their posts just show up in your feed. These things make you angry, hurt or both and they make you want to lash out. Sometimes taking a stand against them is the way to go, but most of the time it’s just going to result in a “flame war.” Before long you are spending an inordinate amount of time, thinking about them and responding to them. You might even end up thinking about what you wish you had said. Congratulations, you just got a squatter.    

There’s Nothing to be Gained from a Squatter…

The first thing to do is analyze your relationship with this person. In some cases, the relationship you have with the person, makes the conflict worthwhile. You might end up with something to gain. Remember a squatter lives in your head, rent free. Ask yourself, is thee something to be gained by fixing the relationship, renewing a long term relationship, pointing someone to the Savior, etc. If that’s the case, maybe the battle is worth continuing. After all if there is something positive to be gained from the interaction, the person isn’t a squatter. This also applies to God’s call. If God is calling you to continue, He just might be doing something worthwhile, so keep going.

Is This a Relationship and Is It Worth Saving?

If the person trying to squat in your head, is unknown to you, the answer is simple! Don’t invite them in. Remember, anything you comment on may spread to the people you actually care about. This kind of content is like a virus, it either dies or it spreads, so don’t take the bait. The best thing to do to stop social media stupidity in it’s tracks, is to ignore it. If the person is someone you love with whom you seek to maintain a relationship, take it off line, and challenge their thinking in private. This is far better than helping this person to squat in the heads of others. If the person is someone who wouldn’t cross the street to save your life, why on earth would you invite them to squat in your most valuable piece of real estate? You don’t owe them squat.

Who Paid the Rent?

Another great way to look at this, is invest your mental real estate in the people who have paid the rent. My wife for example deserves space in my head. So do my parents, siblings, in-laws children, and grandchild and other relatives. These people are most important to me, some will take priority over others. Next up is my church family and friends. These are the people God has given me to love, and as long as they are not cutting into my relationships with my family, they have a big piece of real estate. These are people who have earned their space in my head. If someone hasn’t paid the rent, all they will do is take away space reserved for your priority relationships. 

The Supreme Tenant

There is someone else who lives in my head and He has priority. The reason for that is simple, He paid His “rent” for the rest of eternity, by dying on the cross to save me from my sins. This tenant is Jesus Christ. As a result, He needs to be the primary “Tenant.” He takes first priority and the good news is, if He occupies His real estate in my head, every other relationship will be in order, and with Him comes peace, love, joy, hope and so much more. 

Renew Your Mind

The other way to protect your mental real estate is to look at Romans 12:2 “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” If your mental squatter is leading you down a path of thought that is not compatible with God’s will—if it’s making you less like Jesus and more like the world, it’s heading in the wrong direction and it needs transformation. The best way to walk in joy, hope, peace and happiness is to change the way we think, so we will think like God.

Self Defense

If you have a mental squatter, you’re going to have to defend yourself. 2 Corinthians 10:5 (ESV) tells us how, “We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ…” In other words, we get to control what we allow in to our mist valuable real estate, and the key to it all is looking at those things that squat in our brains, and asking a simple question: Does this frame of mind or course of action put me in a place that would be pleasing to God? Will it bring me closer to God or further away. Will it lead me into peace, hope, love and joy, or will it steal all of that out of my life. Theft is a crime, so your mental squatter is a criminal who needs to be arrested and removed

Conclusion

At the end of the day, our lives and our mental real estate are pretty full. We don’t have too much space to let squatters live rent free in our heads. If you find things and people squatting in your head, measure them up against this verse of Scripture: Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Philippians 4:8 ESV) If you allow undeserving things and people to squat in your head, you’ll deprive yourself of so much happiness, peace and joy, and things will start to look hopeless. They’re not. The Supreme Tenant is still on the throne. Trust in Him and evict the squatters, because again, you don’t owe them squat.