Solitude of Heart

“But the solitude that really counts is the solitude of heart; it is an inner quality or attitude that does not depend on physical isolation.” — Henri Nouwen, Reaching Out

In the book Reaching Out, Nouwen traces out three movements of the Christian spiritual life:  reaching out to the fullest sense of one’s self; reaching out to others; reaching out to God.  And in each of these movements he makes clear that there are different poles between which our lives vacillate and are held in tension.

The first movement, “reaching out to self,” covers the ground of movement between loneliness and solitude.  Though never giving a formal definition, loneliness for Nouwen can be characterized as a painful, anxious hunger for wholeness, deep connection, perfect love, and inner tranquility which projects the illusory expectation of obtaining those things in a final way from fallible persons and passing things. Whereas solitude can be described as a way of encountering the world from a tranquil center of unity, depth, and inner freedom that senses one’s place within a greater reality beyond narrow self-concern, with deep connection to others.  In solitude, one becomes more fully present to one’s self and others and is able to listen deeply and to respond spontaneously with love and creativity.

The power of this work is that Nouwen is wholeheartedly realistic.  No where does he suggest that loneliness is a problem to be solved or that it is within our power to solve it.  We cannot avoid it and we flow in and out of it.  Yet, it is not the only or last word.  Solitude is an actual option for us and one that arises outside of our total control.  Solitude is only ever received and never achieved. But once we have opened to it, tasted it, a new life is possible.  We will fall back into loneliness but each time there will be a faint echo, a trace, a pull, that seems to guide in ways we cannot understand or articulate but somehow feels familiar.  A Silence that speaks to us.

It is this speaking Silence that calls to us this Lent and the one who I long to encounter.  It is this encounter that I will explore in my next post.
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