When Fear Becomes Motivation

Fear prevents me from writing. He reminds me of all my flaws. He points out every mistake I make. He laughs at my misspellings and my forgotten punctuation. He taunts me, “No one’s gonna read what you write.  So, why are ya still at it?” He points his ugly little finger at the screen and snickers at my attempt to prove him wrong.

My Heart and Head are at War

Frustration sits with me as only the best frenemy would. Together, Frustration and Fear hit the replay button causing an all-out war between my heart and my head. As a result, my fingers on the keyboard come to a crashing halt.

I get up and pace the room. I tidy my writing desk. Go to the bathroom. Even hit my punching bag a few times. As Procrastination and I find ways to fill my time,  Fear keeps my computer chair warm.

God’s Canvas

Finally, I sit in my comfy chair of inspiration next to my writing desk. It’s positioned for me to look out the loft window for the best view of a ponderosa forest, I get to call my backyard. I take a moment to soak it in.

Bing. I check my email on my phone. I get sucked into Facebook. “Holy buckets! I just lost two hours of my life!” My two cats, resting on the window seat, spring awake at my exclamation. They yawn and stretch keeping a close eye on me, and I lean forward to give belly rubs and chin scratches. Their purrs satisfy my need for acceptance and my desire to write returns.

However, Fear remains in my computer chair. Feet propped up on the desk next to the keyboard, he leans back in the chair with his hands behind his head. Intimidation is his bodyguard.

Procrastination Points out the Obvious

Procrastination points to the dust on the ceiling fan. Oh boy! It really does need to be cleaned. My shoulders slump and Intimidation raises his right eyebrow and jerks his head toward the fan. My heart and head begin their battle once again.

I really don’t want to clean the dust off my ceiling fan, so, I stand to read my poster thumb-tacked to the wall above my computer desk and I am reminded of what God says about me. I am reminded of my friend, Betty Slade, who said, “God’s word cannot be silenced.” Inspired by the scripture in 2 Timothy 2:9 (TLB) when Paul said, “It is because I have preached these great truths that I am in trouble here and have been put in jail like a criminal. But the Word of God is not chained, even though I am.”

Palm to face I shake my head. What am I doing? Just as God’s Word cannot be silenced, neither can God’s Word sit with Procrastination. God’s Word will be delivered in HIS timing. If I’m not willing to write He’ll use somebody else to get HIS message out.

Help Me Lord

I want to be like Paul and persevere through the times I feel stuck, “so that everyone God calls will get in on the salvation of Christ in all its glory” (2 Timothy 2:10 MSG).

I glance over at Procrastination who is still pointing to the dusty fan, and I thank her. I thank her for reminding me of my “What God Says About Me” poster. She dismisses my gratitude with a wave of her hand, and I make a mental note to pencil her in on my schedule. I mean why not? Even though she and I don’t write when we’re together, she helps me clear my head. She helps me get back on God’s path. I can’t help but embrace her for that.

I look over at Fear who is now snoring in my computer chair. Intimidation left a while ago. Hmm, He’s not so scary like this. I take out my iPhone 14 to snap a picture and through the lens of my camera, I see Fear morph into Motivation.

When I look up from my phone, my computer chair is empty. The blinking cursor on the blank Word Doc compels me to write once again. So, I do.

** Comment below and tell me what Fear prevents you from doing. I’d love to hear from you.