They will know we are Christian by the way we love. John 13:35
Down the aisle of City Market, I heard a Christian customer scowl at an older gentleman not moving as fast as she would like; if I could hear her, I’m sure he could too. At a Christian women’s retreat, I witnessed one woman bully another. At my Christian writer’s group, I heard one member describe all people on the “left” as godless in an article he wrote to the editor. One morning at church my husband joined me for the first time in months. A congregation member came up to him and said, “Oh, so you’re the ‘come to church whenever I feel like it’ kind of guy, huh?” Today, while waiting my turn at the post office, I was surrounded by confessing Christians complaining about the slow service.
Self Reflect
Not once did I intervene. Nor did I speak out. I certainly did not get involved. I held my tongue, kept my head down, and stayed silent. I wondered how many times this was me.
How many times did I stereotype a group of people? Or how often was I so consumed with my agenda that I didn’t consider someone else? Was I ever a bully? How often do I complain about another instead of trying to become part of the solution? I want to be different.
Remember when this is done out of earshot, it’s still done in front of God.
Gentle Correction
One of the most difficult encounters is when a brother or sister in Christ turns to you with correction. But God tells us, “The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise. Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence” Proverbs 15:31-32 (ESV). And “The fear of the Lord is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honor” Proverbs 15:33 (ESV).
I want to live among the wise. I want to choose humility above honor. I want to be different.
When I became a Christian in 1985, I believed we were called to love one another. John 13:34-35, John 3:16, and John 15:12-13 are just a few verses about love. The New Living Translation mentions love 801 times!
But when we generalize a group, don’t have compassion or sympathy for others, bulldoze things to go our way for our glory, or criticize and complain about others are we loving them?
It doesn’t feel like love to me.
What is Love?
Instead, couldn’t we avoid all (or at least most) generalizations? Is it possible to be present in all situations, slow down, and show compassion? Can’t we take a moment to put ourselves in another’s shoes and wait before we speak? Show kindness? Could we be thankful instead of criticizing and complaining?
God says we can.
Are we reading God’s word?
Because His Word says, “ Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” Ephesians 4:32 (ESV). Kindness means showing goodness, generosity, and sympathy toward others. Galatians 5:22-24 (ESV). In 1 Corinthians 13:4-6 (ESV) it says, “Love is patient and kind: it does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.”
Good Reminder
Mandisa has a song called, You Were Born for This. In it, she sings, “… There’s a time to hold your tongue. Time to keep your head down. There’s a time but it’s not now.”
I want to be different. I’m praying for boldness to extend grace as I kindly correct the next time I witness ungodly behavior from my brothers and sisters in Christ.
Because “Sometimes you gotta go, uninvited. Sometimes you gotta speak when you don’t have the floor…Long before your heart can run the risk, you were born for this.” Mandisa nailed these lyrics!
If I’m on the receiving end of a correction, I pray I don’t become offended but use the moment to self-reflect and take a good long look at my heart.
Because that’s what God will be doing. 1 Samuel 16:7
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