I wrote this piece a couple years ago in response to a series of ads that a friend, who goes by the pseudonym fellowfeather, posted in newspapers and magazines. The ads aggressively attacked some of the beliefs of the Christian religion. I felt that some of them would alienate readers and be counterproductive. So I wrote this and sent it to fellowfeather as an example of a lighter touch that might work better.
You can read his ads on his website if you are interested. Click the link on the right side of the page titled THE INFAMOUS SOUTH BEND ATHEIST ADS. Here is a link.
You can contact him via email at firstname.lastname@example.org
I know that he would appreciate any comments or suggestions you would like to make.
THIS IS GOD TALKING TO YOU, SO PAY ATTENTION!
Most of you are wrong about me. It is time to set you straight.
First of all, I did not carve those stone tablets. If I had, I would not have included the first four that just say, “I’m the boss and don’t you forget it.” It is up to you to make up your own moral codes, and the only purpose they should serve is to help every person enjoy a rich and satisfying life. That includes both present and future generations. You have a responsibility to use your planet wisely and not abuse it by depletion, pollution and overpopulation.
Now let’s talk about your religions…all those ceremonies, hymns and prayers to me, and those elaborate and pretentious houses of worship. I am not impressed. The wealth to create them would have been better used to help your millions of hungry and homeless people. That would also follow the teachings of your sacred books.
And speaking of sacred books, I wrote none of them. I would not threaten anyone with endless torture, without hope or mercy, for not believing in me. Stop using my name to promote such an absurd, cruel and immoral idea.
Looking at the results of the evolutionary process, I am somewhat disappointed in your species. Testosterone may be necessary to promote procreation, but it also arouses primitive male instincts to fight and dominate. They were needed for survival in your distant past but now, combined with religious self-righteousness and powerful weapons, they threaten every living thing on your planet.
And that brings me to my final point. You usually refer to me as “He.” A supernatural being is neither male nor female, but if I ever decide to take a human form, it will be female. Women are much more sensible. If they were governing your planet, there would be far less war and confrontation, and fewer unwanted, neglected and abused children. From now on, please refer to me as “She.”
You have reached a critical point. Your survival now depends on your rejection of faith-based superstition and the arrogant intolerance that goes with it. If you abandon those irrational and divisive beliefs, your future will be glorious. If instead you choose to continue on your present disastrous path, I will not punish you. You will punish yourselves.