This is driving me Gaga!

This is driving me Gaga! June 6, 2019

I was talking with my conspiracy theorist friend yesterday, and he had a new one that gobsmacked me.

Before we get to that, he pointed to the sky. “Hey, no Chemtrails today.” He believes that there is a vast global conspiracy to kill off most of the world’s population. The plot involves the spreading of poison from nozzles under the wings of commercial airliners. The evil masterminds are a mysterious group called the Illuminati. The airline companies…and of course, the airplane crews are all in on this. The goal is to reduce the world population to a size that they can control, and then they will take over and run a global dictatorship called The New World Order. Look it up on any one of a number of conspiracy web sites. They are full of it…in more ways than one.

And now we get to the gobsmacker: He asked me a question.

“Do you know who Lada Gaga is?”

Well, duh…of course I do.  Who could live on this planet and not know?

And then he told me this story:

When she was just beginning her career, she was performing in a night club somewhere, and her show went over big…standing ovation at the end. When she left, there was a guy standing by the exit. He stopped her and said something like this very quietly:

“Would you like to be fabulously successful and rich beyond your wildest dreams?”

Well, of course she would.

Cut to the present, many years later, after her fabulous career and riches poured onto her. She is now in declining physical and mental health, and she told (who?), “I wish I had never listened to that guy and sold my soul to Satan and the Illuminati.”

What happened isn’t exactly clear to my friend, but those evil people took advantage of this poor young lady, and now her life is ruined. I was skeptical, to say the least, so I Googled it. Wonder of wonders! It’s all over the Web! At least a dozen web sites with detailed descriptions of how she sold her soul to Satan and the Illuminati…who are in cahoots. They say she even performed Satanic rituals.

Gaga suffers from a rare neural disease called fibromyalgia syndrome (FMS) and according to these web sites, she links it to her involvement with the Illuminati…and Satan, of course, the result of letting “dark forces” enter her body during those Satanic rituals early in her career. At one point, they say, Gaga went to a Catholic priest and had him perform an exorcism to drive out the evil spirits that had invaded her body. Apparently, it didn’t work. I guess the Illuminati trump God. Damn! How did HE get into this…and I don’t mean God!

I learned all of this from a web site called I won’t detail any more of the story here, but you can read it all on this web site if you need some laughs:

Now, it is apparently true that Gaga suffers from FMS, and it’s a very painful disease. I don’t mean to trivialize her suffering at all. And I sympathize with her having to deal with all the rumors about this, plus the ones about her being a hermaphrodite. I don’t care how much money she has made, I wouldn’t trade places with her.

I hate to spoil your fun if you are into juicy conspiracy theories about the Illuminati, their ties to Satan, and the fallen women who are their victims, but I found this site that punctures that balloon:

And then I thought some more about this. The Illuminati, Satan, dark forces, evil conspiracies…and, oh yes, I forgot to mention that my friend is a devout evangelical Christian.

There is a pattern here. Religious belief and belief in conspiracy theories. They are both fact-free, faith-based belief systems. Now some religious folks here may object to that, pointing out that just because religious people sometimes believe in conspiracy theories doesn’t mean that religious belief is the cause of such beliefs. Correlation does not imply causation.

But wouldn’t it be fair to say that a religious believer has a predisposition to believe things without corroborating facts that would make him/her susceptible to conspiracy theories? Especially if they involve Satan?

It seems so to me. But I only have one piece of evidence…my friend…who shall remain nameless to protect his reputation.


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