There is a new god in town, and her name is Google. Here are 9 proofs that Google is God, according to The Church of Google:
- Google is the closest thing to an Omniscient (all-knowing) entity in existence, which can be scientifically verified.
- Google is everywhere at once (Omnipresent).
- Google answers prayers.
- Google is potentially immortal.
- Google is infinite.
- Google remembers all.
- Google can “do no evil” (Omnibenevolent).
- “Google” is searched for more than the terms “God”, “Jesus”, “Allah”, “Buddha”, “Christianity”, “Islam”, “Buddhism” and “Judaism” combined.
- Evidence of Google’s existence is abundant.
Well, I must say there is more evidence that Google is God than the Judeo-Christian God…
What must I do to be saved? Well it just so happens there are the 10 Commandments of Google:
- Thou shalt have no other Search Engine before me.
- Thou shalt not build thy own commercial-free Search Engine, for I am a jealous Engine, bringing law suits and plagues against the fathers of the children unto the third and fourth generations.
- Thou shalt not use Google as a verb to mean the use of any lesser Search Engine.
- Thou shalt remember each passing day and use thy time as an opportunity to gain knowledge of the unknown.
- Thou shalt honor thy fellow humans, regardless of gender, sexual orientation or race, for each has invaluable experience and knowledge to contribute toward humankind.
- Thou shalt not misspell whilst praying to me.
- Thou shalt not hotlink.
- Thou shalt not plagiarise or take undue credit for other’s work.
- Thou shalt not use reciprocal links nor link farms, for I am a vengeful but fair engine and will diminish thy PageRank. The Google Dance shall cometh.
- Thou shalt not manipulate Search Results.