The search for happiness is often the source of unhappiness.
I heard the line above on the Rainn Wilson spirituality show The Geography of Bliss—and it got me thinking. What if there was no search involved? What if happiness was sitting right in front of us, waiting to be grasped—or more accurately, embraced?
It’s an idea that Naval Ravikant has also explored and you may already have a question: Who the heck is Naval Ravikant? While not widely known outside of Silicon Valley, Ravikant is a successful high-tech entrepreneur and investor and has given a lot of thought to a question that affects us all: What makes us happy?
His ideas have been compiled in a book titled The Almanack of Naval Ravikant: A guide to wealth and happiness. Ravikant is not the author himself, which may say something about his humility. The person who compiled the book, Eric Jorgenson, tells us it was built “entirely out of transcripts, tweets, and talks Naval has shared,” including podcasts with people like Tim Ferriss who wrote the book’s introduction.
As you might have surmised, we’re not going to discuss Ravikant’s guide to achieving wealth, which comprises the first half of the book, and will instead look at his thoughts on happiness. His basic premise can be summed up like this: “Happiness is there when you remove the sense that something is missing in your life.”
Ravikant asks us to look at our own definition of happiness. He points out that for a lot of people, happiness means joy or bliss—but for him, it means peace. And while he admits this approach won’t work for everyone, it works for him. What follows are excerpts from the book featuring the words and writings of Ravikant, which I’ve lighted edited and organized into three different categories of thought.
Observation 1: The problem is the way most of us think.
We constantly walk around thinking, “I need this,” or “I need that,” trapped in a web of desires. We don’t live enough in our awareness. We live too much in this internal monologue in our heads.
The most fundamental mistake we make is all believing we’re going to be made happy by some external circumstance. Over and over, we say, “Oh, I’ll be happy when I get this thing,” whatever it is. The idea that an external thing may bring you some kind of happiness and joy is delusional.
Happiness is the state when nothing is missing. When nothing is missing, your mind shuts down and stops running into the past to regret something. It stops looking to the future to plan something.
It’s about the absence of desire, especially for external things. The fewer desires I can have, the more I can accept the current state of things. Or else my mind is in motion, moving toward the future or the past. The more present I am, the happier and more content I will be.
In that absence of desire, you have internal silence, at least for a moment. When you have internal silence, you are not thinking too much. You are content, and you are happy.
Observation 2: The key is to live in the present moment.
Happiness requires presence. At any given time, when you’re walking down the street, a very small percentage of your brain is focused on the present. The rest is planning the future or regretting the past.
This keeps you from having an incredible experience. It keeps you from seeing the beauty in everything and for being grateful for where you are. You can literally destroy your happiness if you spend all of your time thinking about the future.
The present is all we have. There is actually nothing but this moment. No one has ever gone back in time, and no one has ever been able to successfully predict the future in any way that matters. Literally, the only thing that exists is this exact point in time.
Being peaceful comes from having your mind clear of thoughts. It’s very hard to be in the present moment if you’re thinking, “I need to do this. I want that. This has got to change.” A lot of clarity comes from being in the present moment.
There’s a great definition: “Enlightenment is the space between your thoughts.” It means enlightenment isn’t something you achieve after thirty years of sitting on a mountaintop. It’s something you can achieve moment to moment, and you can be enlightened to a certain degree every single day.
If you’re present, you’ll realize how many gifts and how much abundance there is around you at all times. That’s all you really need to do. Think, “I’m here now, and I have all these incredible things at my disposal.”
Every time you catch yourself desiring something, say, “Is it so important to me I’ll be unhappy unless I get it?” You’re going to find that with the vast majority of things it’s just not true.
Observation 3: Happiness is a choice you make.
The most important trick to being happy is to realize happiness is a skill you develop and a choice you make. You choose to be happy, and then you work at it. It’s like building muscles. It’s like losing weight. It’s like succeeding at your job.
Happiness, love, and passion aren’t things you find. They’re choices you make. How much of your day is spent doing things out of obligation rather than out of interest?
Caught in a funk? Without exception, all (phone, computer or TV) screen activities are linked to less happiness. All non-screen activities are linked to more happiness. Use meditation, music, and exercise to reset your mood. Then choose a new path to commit your emotional energy to for the rest of day.
Need to make a change in your life? Pick one big desire in your life at any given time to give yourself purpose and motivation. Why not two? You’ll be distracted. Even one is hard enough.
When you’re not really happy, you’re not doing anyone any favors. It’s not like your unhappiness makes them better off somehow. All you’re doing is wasting this incredibly small and precious time you have on this Earth.
Feel free to disagree. Happiness is different for everybody.
While “The Almanack of Naval Ravikant” is available in book form at Amazon, there is a free pdf version available here.
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