Staring Down the Show Hole

Staring Down the Show Hole September 2, 2019
Violence
Gottmodul / Flickr

As the end credits rolled on, everyone just sat there, somewhat satisfied with the ending but also sad to know it was over. They were facing the perennial dilemma of every binge-watching individual and party group: what to watch next, now that the series that captivated our attention for so long is over…for good.

The long running “movie night” group of Prince of Peace Church faced this very dilemma. Together they stared deeply into the show hole, collectively drawing a blank. The series they finished was so amazing, how could they possibly top it? And what if they couldn’t top it? Would they have to disband?

The silence was too awkward for Arnold, the small group’s leader. “Can I change the subject for just a minute?” he blurted out. “We are a couple months into our church’s Bible-in-a-Year program, and I have to admit, I find the Old Testament to be, well, disturbing. Does anyone else feel that way?”

“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing,” confessed Sylvester. “The book of Judges was particularly over the top—a woman driving a tent peg through a sleeping man’s head, a man killing seventy of his brothers, a father sacrificing his daughter, and then that concubine being sliced and diced into so many pieces. It’s too much! How can a loving God tolerate such rampant violence?”

“Do you think we should talk to Pastor Willis about this?” asked Arnold. “I mean, what if our kids were to read these stories?”

“That’s a real concern,” Dwayne interjected. “I think youth pastor Gibson has actually encouraged some of the older teens to read along with the adults.”

“Well, something probably should be done about this,” Arnold replied. “But that’s not our problem tonight. Our problem is what we’re going to do next week, now that Game of Thrones is over.” How can we find a show that keeps us on the edge of our seats with such artful blending of dragons, carnage, the living dead, and unbridled passion?

“I know it’s not a long term solution,” Sylvester suggested, “But I’ve been thinking—with John Wick 4 coming out, perhaps we can spend a few weeks watching the first three movies together?”

“Now that’s a great idea!” Arnold exclaimed. “And, I’ve got the box set on Blu-ray. So, if everyone agrees, we’ll do that. In the meantime, everyone keep your eyes peeled for our next series, preferably something action-packed.”

***This is satire. If you take it literally you will miss the point. If you like this sort of writing, check out our archives under the category “Biblitically Correct” and read our Biblitically Correct column online in the Christian Standard magazine.

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