The Reluctant Spokesman (a short story)

a fictional short story by Gaurav Rastogi

The Restless Sannyasi

Deva Ananda Mishtiqiya was distraught. Late January in southern India is as pleasant a time as you can get on the plateau. Nights are nippy, slightly cold, and the days smell of Valentine roses, “First Class Export Quality” as they say here. Deva Ananda had been sleeping fitfully for the last three nights, and had been restless and sweaty all day. He couldn’t think of anything specific that was causing this. Like an unexplained itch that scratching won’t relieve, this restlessness was gnawing away at the serenity that had become his cloak at the ashram.

His sannyasi’s (one who has renounced the world) quarters at the ashram were spartan. Bare ochre walls, adorned only with 3×8′ photos of Swamiji (smiling in one, blessing pose in another), a small television perpetually tuned into Swami Mishtick’s MishTV channel, a single bed, small desk fan, a dark blue BeeTel phone, and a wooden chair. Deva Ananda mindlessly turned the TV on. He didn’t feel like listening to the “Shal-Aum to You” program that was on MishTV. Out of habit, and not really hoping to see anything more interesting, Deva Ananda changed the channel. Business news on CNBC.

“…Every attempt made to eliminate the gap failed. As the promoters held a small percentage of equity, the concern was that poor performance would result in the takeover, thereby exposing the gap. It was like riding a tiger, not knowing how to get off without being eaten…”.

They were discussing another depressing financial scandal, this time in the Indian IT services industry. Nothing Deva Ananda could relate to. Nope, no Sir, never ridden tigers before!

He turned off the TV and picked up an old magazine…“It’s all just one big lie,” Madoff told his employees on Dec. 10, according to a statement by prosecutors. The firm, Madoff allegedly said, is “basically, a giant Ponzi scheme.” “That’s great! More crummy news…” Deva Ananda muttered to himself, “all the world needs is more crummy news about cheats and swindlers”. He decided to go out for a walk in the ashram.

The ashram was set in a 67-acre area, surrounded by trees and giant granite boulders, and 15 kilometers away from the busy industrial city nearby. Kept clean by an army of workers and resident sannyasis, the ashram was a modern day architectural wonder. Looking as-if dreamed-up by yogi on a soma-induced high, the ashram had all the trappings of a modern corporate campus. The “Himalayan Retreat” was designed like the lofty mountains that Swamiji was said to have spent 12 years of his youth meditating in. There was a super-specialty hospital on the ashram, as were the living quarters for the 500 or so sannyasis who lived and worked at the ashram.

This was paradise. And where there’s paradise, often comes trouble.
There had been rumors about Swamiji in the past too. The usual chin-wagging by self-righteous left wing types complaining about the “luxury” ashram, the expensive hospitals built on donations, and the “excesses” of the $6000 retreat that Swamiji held for the new initiates. No! These new rumors were far more sinister. New allegations were swirling around like dry leaves on a hot summer day. A redux of rumors of an unexplained series of disappearances and deaths in the ashram. Some new stuff had come up about Swamiji’s sexual escapades and Swiss bank accounts. Don’t they know, Swamiji’s inner circle said, Swamiji is God incarnate! He doesn’t need their money- he’s here to show us all the way to heaven!

Deva Ananda reached back to his room, and picked up the phone to call his mother at her Jewish old age home in Parsippany, NJ. Please leave a message for Mrs. Freeman… “Mom! It’s me. It’s been years since we spoke. I’m fine. Just wanted to hear your voice. Love Deva A…er…it’s David, Ma. Bye!”

—

The One Who Brings Joy to the Gods

Bespectacled, thin and tall, Dr. David Freeman looked every part the respectable cardiologist that he was. He had a very successful practice in New York before he attended Swami Mishtick’s Meditation Retreat in northern California. He had spent his youth fascinated by eastern mysticism, and had dabbled in Buddhism for a few years. He had come across Swami Mishtick’s followers a few times in his trips to India, and one of then convinced Dr. Freeman to attend the Retreat. Even at the time, $5,000 seemed a high price to pay, but he found the session absolutely worth it.

Swamiji had the clearest eyes, clear as the bright blue New Mexico sky. His long flowing hair were a reminder of his previous birth as the Buddha and Krishna. His smile was radiant and disarming. And his words…oh! His words made easy the wisdom gathered over a thousand births. His voice could make time stand still. He talked about the time he spent meditating in the Himalayas. 12 years of silent contemplation gave him an inner fire that burns only in the most enlightened. He had the power to heal the sick, and bring back the dead. Such was his meditation in the Himalayas. There he discovered his past lives, and his future lives. He divined the reasons why his soul had descended to the Earth into this body. He had work to do in this life.

After he came back from his self-imposed exile from humanity, he took the name of Swami Mishtick, and he declared that he was an incarnate God, a true Avatar of the Buddha and Krishna. His duty in this life was to take humanity back to its’ glorious ways, and show the world the true way to eternal bliss. He got busy setting up his first ashram in southern India. Then, his international devotees urged, rather begged, him to take his message internationally. When Dr. Freeman first met him, Swamiji’s community was present in 32 countries, with 43 ashrams. About 21 million people counted themselves lucky to be Swamiji’s followers, and their tribe was fast growing.
“Shal-Aum”, Swamiji had said to him. At first Dr. Freeman thought this was a little reference to his Jewish heritage. Later, he realized that this is the greeting Swamiji used with everyone. The Mishtiqiya community had its’ own language, its’ own customs, and its’ own lifestyle.

Those 21 days were bliss-filled for Dr. Freeman. Swamiji paid special attention to Dr. Freeman, recognizing within him his old disciple from a previous birth. It was there, right there, that Swamiji inspired him to give up his earthly ambitions and join the ashram. “You will become ‘Deva Ananda’, the one who brings joy to the Gods”, Swamiji said. Dr. Freeman sold off his practice, renounced his family ties, dedicated his entire life’s savings (about $3.1 million) to Swamiji, and became Deva Ananda, the one who brings joy to the Gods.

Once in India, Deva Ananda was pleased to learn that Swamiji has recently blessed the creation of a super-specialty hospital in the very ashram he had been ordained at. Being a cardiologist, he could resume his practice at this ultra-modern hospital. This time, he would work for free, and his services would be available to the lowest strata of the society- the sick, the tired, the needy. He moves in mysterious ways, some say.

Soon, Deva Ananda settled into his ashram routine. Five years had gone by. Ashram life was all consuming. Swamiji was a strict disciplinarian and a hard taskmaster. The day began at 5am with meditation and prayers to Swamiji, and went on without stop until 10pm. There was no moment to rest. Swamiji wouldn’t tolerate it in his ashrams. In Swamiji’s absence for meditation and travel, the affairs of Swamiji’s trust and ashrams fell onto Swami Andaracharyaji. He had been a banker in his past life, until he was taken in by Swamiji, and initiated into the secret yoga. Swami Andaracharya was no ordinary Sanyasi- now dressed in flowing white robes, and a gray beard that were a sign of his years and his purity. It was Andaracharyaji who had Swamiji’s blessing and a capacity to organize and manage the trust’s community activities. He managed the flow of funds, and the build out for new ashrams.

—

Swirling Rumors

Next morning, Deva Ananda set out for the hospital for his daily duties at 6am. As Deva Ananda walked the ashram, he was in the habit of looking at the granite paved pathway and silently reciting Swamiji’s “heart calming mantra”. Today, he heard someone call him from behind. Shal-Aum, Deva Anandaji! Folding his hands, he replied back instinctively “Shal-Aum to you brother! Swamiji’s blessings on us!”. He turned around to look for the source of this greeting, his greeter walking towards him. It was the white-robed Swami Andaracharya, the head trustee of Swamiji’s public service organizations. Thinking that he might get a few answers from Andaracharyaji, Deva Ananda waited for him to catch up. Swamiji’s blessings on you, Deva Anandaji. You look unusually worried today. What is on your mind? “Andaracharyaji, with Swamiji’s blessing I live a contented life. However, I have been troubled by the mischief that some outsiders are making, and their slanderous accusations about Swamiji. How could it be true that Swamiji has crores of Dollars in Swiss bank accounts? Swamiji has renounced the world, and he doesn’t even own more than one robe.” Andaracharyaji looked calmly at Deva Ananda, as if to size him up. After a long pause and a sigh, he said with a studied and measured tone, “Deva Anandaji, this is all part of Swamiji’s leela. He had said many years ago that he will create such a situation, where the true belief of his followers will be tested. He is trying to test us. The truth is what it is. We have to pray to Swamiji that we have the courage and belief to ride through this. He had said that only his true followers will find the path to eternal heaven. Do you want to pass this test, Deva Anandaji?” “Of course, with Swamiji’s blessings, I have been with him for many lives,” Deva Ananda said, “but I worry about so many of our brothers and sisters who have left the ashram after falling prey to these vile and vicious rumors. Before she left, Sister Prema Carol had told me that she met some people who Swamiji had met…er…intimately.” Deva Ananda hesitated as he said the last few words, not sure if even repeating these things would be proof of his lack of belief. What he didn’t tell Andaracharyaji was that Sister Prema Carol had told him many other things about Swamiji. She told him that Swamiji’s real estate empire was now worth $1.2 bn, and that the hefty donations from international and rich devotees to the hospitals far outpaced the value of the medical service the specialty hospitals were giving out. She also said that the rumors of murders on campus were true, and that some ex-Swami followers had set up a website to expose the truths about Swamiji’s business and carnal affairs. She had also told him that Swamiji had hand-selected him to be initiated into the ashram because he was looking for a free cardio-surgeon! Deva Ananda could not believe this at all. “I am cardiologist, not a surgeon!”, is what he said at the time. The connection he felt to Swamiji was real, and there was no doubt in his mind that he had known Swamiji for many lives. This must all be a pack of lies, he had thought to himself as he waved goodbye to Sister Prema Carol at the golden gate on the south side of the ashram. That was 2 months ago. “Deva Anandaji, this world is Swamiji’s leela! We mustn’t give in to these temptations. Let us pray to Swamiji for courage.” Andaracharyaji smiled benignly as he said this. Now he put his right arm on Deva Ananda’s shoulder and leaned forward- “Swamiji has blessed you with a new mission. Please come into the ashram office today afternoon”.

Not sure of whom to believe, Deva Ananda walked on to the hospital. “I should call Sister Prema Carol and seek her counsel as well. Maybe in the evening when it’s morning on the east coast”. He had cut his connection with his past life, and his new, invented life seemed to be moored next to fictional buoys. Exit was not much of a choice.

—

The Ignorant Spokesman

A scandal had broken out the previous night. Some es-Mishtiqiyas had gone to the media with printouts of bank transcripts, land records, and a video that showed someone looking like Swami Mishtick in, shall we say, “a compromising position” with several female, blond sannyasins. The story had traveled like wildfire, trending into the top of Twitter overnight. TV channels were all over the story, some endlessly streaming an old BBC expose documentary on Swamiji and the “dark mishtiqiya cult”, as they put it. The 24-hour news cycle was relentless, and late January is one of the slowest news periods of the year. Most business news channels too diverted their attention from the annual Davos love-fest, and featured stories about this new scandal instead. It made for great television.

By 8am, the ashram gate was surrounded by TV crews, their satellite connections beaming out images into homes all across India, and perhaps, out into the wider universe. The mela outside the ashram had taken a festive look, with reporters competing for square footage that covered the maximum of the “Himalayan Retreat” building behind them.

“Built like something out of Disneyland, this grotesque building is testimony to the massive extent of this swindle. Our sources estimate that this building was built with Twelve Million Dollars worth of donations. Donations that were meant to go to the poor and needy in India, but were spent on these luxuries for the fake Swami and his troupe. For KGB-32, this is Lakshmi Jain”.

And another…

“The rumors of mis-management and mistreatment of inmates have surfaced every few months around the ‘Mishtiqiya’ community. Our anonymous sources, some of whom were high ranking officials inside this mysterious cult, have tipped us about the murders of four young men, and six young women at this very ashram in the last four years. It is said that the orange building that you see inside..”, and here the camera zooms out to reveal the super-specialty hospital, “ is the site of these crimes. The local police has refused to register the cases, and are said to be hand in glove with the ashram authorities…”.

By 10am, quite a crowd had gathered. Some of the protesters were members of the local Satrang Bal, under the control of the local strongman. Very deliberately, and under the watchful gaze of the 24-hour TV crews, the protesters burnt effigies of the Swami, and started to tear down one of the walls of the ashram. Local police had arrived at the scene, but seemed to be under instructions to do nothing on camera. They watched on as well.

Unaware of the developments at the ashram gate, or even the news storm since previous night, Deva Ananda walked over to the ashram office inside the Himalayan Retreat at noon. He walked over to Andaracharya’s plush office and smiled gently, “Shal-Aum Andaracharyaji. Swamiji’s blessings on us”.

Andaracharya turned off the 60″ LCD television on his wall, and turned towards Deva Ananda. “Shal-Aum Deva Anandaji. Swamiji’s blessings on us. Please come in and sit here”. He gestured towards the deep orange sofas inside his office, as he himself sat down on his black leather sofa. “You are very lucky. Swamiji has chosen you for a very special task. Are you ready?”

—

At 12:30pm, Deva Ananda nervously touched his glasses, as he entered the MishTV media room. He looked again at the paper in his trembling hands, trying to memorize the text before him. He had never faced a live news camera, and this seemed like a bad time to start. He walked over to the center of the media stage, and took one last look at the crowd around him. Cameras had started flashing as soon as he had opened the door, and now the whirring of two dozen TV cameras filled the room. The room went quiet as he settled into his seat, the silence punctuated with the flash of still cameras, and the background hum of the TV cameras. They waited.

“Hello. I am Dr. David Freeman, and I am the official spokes-person for the Mishtiqiya Ashram.

We would like to say that we are dismayed by the baseless allegations made recently in the press, and deny them completely. We would like to assert that Swami Mishtick is a divine soul and a renunciate. He does not have any earthly belongings.

We would also like to deny Swamiji’s connection with any form of bodily involvement with any member of the community. We are aware that there are some videos claiming to be Swamiji, and would like the public to know that Swamiji is celibate. These videos are obviously fake propaganda created to sully Swamiji’s name and good work.

The Mishtiqiya Ashram is a public service community. We would like to remind the public that the community runs 39 state-of-the-art hospitals, and 12 institutions of higher learning. We have a record of service to the community that cannot be tarnished by these baseless accusations.

Swamiji himself is away for his Maun Vrat, a vow of silence, in the Himalayas. He will not be available for comment on this matter until his meditation is over.

Copies of this statement are available on the table to my right. We will not take any more questions.

Thank you, and Shal-Aum”.

—

Gaurav Rastogi lives in the bay area and writes on Vedanta, Yoga and Business. He works for a leading global consulting and outsourcing firm. He tweets @alpharust and volunteers his time with Yoga Bharati to promote a holistic approach to yoga.