I haven’t cried hard in a while, but when I saw my eighteen year-old daughter wave a shy goodbye as she left my sight at the airport last night, I couldn’t stop. After seven months of her being home for a “gap year” between high school and college, she was taking off for a two-month trip to Europe – a giant leap out of my protective arms and into adulthood. I’d felt pangs of impending loss all week, but the... Read more
A couple years after we moved to a pretty White Boston suburb, my bi-racial 5th grade daughter shouted to a Chinese boy while biking, “Well, you know I don’t have any White friends!!” Frankly, she had almost no friends since moving to town. I attributed this to her extreme shyness, introversion, striking prettiness (shy+quiet+pretty=girls think you’re stuck-up), and moving after most girls already made their friends. But she clearly thought it was her race. She saw herself as the only... Read more
Last weekend my husband and I went to Oklahoma City for a pre-Valentine’s rendezvous. We didn’t know a thing about the city except that the Oklahoma City Memorial, built on the site where the Alfred P. Murrah building used to stand before Timothy McVeigh blew it up, was there. It was our first stop. I’ve never seen other memorials…not the Lincoln Memorial nor the Washington monument, not even the Arlington National Cemetery, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. One... Read more
Ten years living in a mixed neighborhood gave this white girl some new perspective. Read more
I do believe I have the perfect number of children–four. Four is the perfect balance between large families and small. Four seems just large enough that those moms with fewer children (especially just one or two) make much over my brood and my seemingly supermom abilities (ha!). And four is just enough to give me an ounce of street cred with the moms of the real large families. Four masquerades carefully between. In truth, four is really no harder than... Read more
Are you a nag? Women are known to “nag” more than men, probably because we’re more often in charge of the many details of home and family life. But this article from the Wall Street Journal bluntly states, nagging can be as harmful as adultery to a marriage. It’s a great reminder to take a deep breath and be fair to your spouse when you’re expressing your needs. And, the tips at the end of the article are a helpful... Read more
Homeschool wars? Really? Don’t we already have enough wars? Last week, I wrote a post about the primary reason our family homeschools – namely, that we want to spend more time together and enjoy the closeness and lifestyle that comes with that. While many people appreciated the post, others (both on this blog and other venues) took issue with either my casualness about the importance of homeschooling or the prideful way I suggested homeschooling is the only way. What is it... Read more
In 2008, we decided to adopt. At first, like many couples who hear of the dreaded “one child” policy, I wanted to adopt from China. However, when we contacted our agency, the wait for a Chinese baby was four years. Instead we decided to go the quickest and most affordable route. And so, several months – and a lot of paperwork – later, we got our referral photo from Ethiopia. She was a fourteen pound two year old, with a... Read more
“Oh RIGHT,” said a kid when asked to finish cleaning up the kitchen. With a scorn only raging adolescent hormones can generate, “Why does the hardest working member of the family always get asked to do the most work?” I thought, “Wow! My child has finally recognized what I do around here!” Then I realized my child was NOT referring to me. Now, our kids work, often quite diligently, especially in school. They’re incredibly helpful when babysitting or volunteering or... Read more
Unfortunately, a nasty stomach bug got the best of my nine year-old son William this past weekend. I found myself sitting with him as he lounged in and out of sleep in front of the TV. During his sickness, he was so calm, reasonable and responsible – eating a dry toast dinner without complaint, making quick beelines to the bathroom, and showing gratitude with multiple “thank you Mom’s” when I brought him meager sustenance and plenty of liquids. But somewhere around his... Read more
What She Said
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In