Duck Dynasty guy sure that Jesus coming back any day and Left Behind movie will convert atheists.

Duck Dynasty guy sure that Jesus coming back any day and Left Behind movie will convert atheists. September 9, 2014

The Left Behind movie is coming out soon, and here’s a guy from Duck Dynasty to tell you why it will convert atheists:

Wheeeeeeee!

“My family and I are truly excited about the true return of Jesus.”

You and every Christian family for the last 2,000 years (including the characters in the bible Jesus told he’d return in their lifetimes).

“And I’m sure if you’ve been watching the news you know that return could be any day from now.”

Oh geez, better get to dispensing some of that $20 million net worth, Willie.  Something about it being easier to squeeze a camel through the eye of a needle, etc…

“It’s an action-packed thriller that will take viewers through the day of the rapture when millions of believers will suddenly vanish into thin air.”

For movies about magic, I prefer Harry Potter.  If you had evidence of magic happening in the real world you’d be making a documentary instead of a movie.

“It’s a warning to those if it happened today would be left behind.”

Ah, so they’re not making a movie about reasons to believe this seemingly absurd proposition is true, they’re trying to scare you into believing for fear.

“And I believe people will make that life-changing decision to follow Christ on the way home from the theater.”

If they didn’t leave Godzilla believing in a giant lizard, they’re probably not going to leave Left Behind thinking people will vanish into thin air.  That’s the thing about movies and why they’re so wonderful: you can paint stories that exist only in imagination and share them – you can show video clips of things that are clearly not true.  That’s why it’s a bad idea to point to movies as proof of god or Jedis or alien abductions, etc.  For instance, if someone drove away from Harry Potter frightened that death eaters are infiltrating the land of the muggles to exterminate them, you’d think they were mad.  But if someone leaves Left Behind thinking a cosmic tyrant is going to burn them forever for not believing a dude rose from the dead, well then they’re just a good Christian.  Funny how similar Willie paints being a good Christian to being certifiably mad.

“On October 3rd let’s bring some friends and family to see this movie – people who need to see to believe.”

The irony is that you’re bringing them to a movie using special effects to show people vanishing for lack of an ability to show them anything that will make them believe in real life.

Oh, you need to see to believe?  Come check out these special effects!  What more evidence do you need that the magic we had to fabricate for this movie is going to happen in reality?

No, Willie.  Your movie is evidence that humans have grown progressively better at special effects, not of magic in the real world.

“Opening the door to non-believers has never been this much fun.”

And attempts to convince believers have seldom been this thin and desperate which, considering the history of awful arguments for Christianity’s truth, is saying something.

Seriously, you might as well plug your movie with “Don’t have a good enough argument to convince your atheist friends?  Bring them to this movie and hope they’re dumb enough to not know the difference between cinema and reality.”

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