Ray Comfort is not my favorite, mostly because of deceptive, insensitive, inane shit like this:
For those who don’t know, Audacity is Ray Comfort’s recent movie tackling the concept of homosexuality (hint: Ray isn’t a fan).
If you want to know the type of person we’re dealing with here look no further than the top line in that image: “award-winning.” This would lead you to believe the movie is good or adored by critics, but when you check IMDB…
And bear in mind, that score is with Ray Comfort encouraging swaths of fundamentalists to go in and give it good reviews. Normal movies don’t have that advantage, so this movie’s real rating is probably significantly lower. Even with the help Audacity’s rating is still scraping bottom. For instance, compare Audacity to a notoriously festering turd like Beverly Hills Cop 3 (the first shitty movie that came to mind for me to type into google):
You want to talk about audacity? That’s what it takes for a person to imply that Audacity is critically acclaimed.
For comparison I looked up some similarly rated movies. So if you liked Code Name: The Cleaner or Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London (both rated 4.4 on IMDB without a swarm of ideologically bent people artificially inflating their ratings) then Audacity might be the quality of film that appeals to you. Fans of Audacity will be sad to learn that even after getting help from Christians eager to push an anti-gay message Audacity was still edged out in IMDB ratings by classics like Ernest Goes to School (4.5), Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (4.7), American Ninja 2: The Confrontation (4.6), and The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (4.6).
Strangely, none of these films won anything but demands for refunds at the movie theater, let alone anything resembling rewards. So what gives?
I suspect the award Comfort is talking about is the Telly awards, which appear at the bottom of the movie website (I couldn’t find any other award the film had “won”):
That image says the movie won a silver Telly in the 36th annual Telly Awards. So I went to check out the winners in all four posted categories (commercial, film/video, online video, and people’s telly) and sure enough Audacity has one for online video. You can find it right between Lipscomb University’s We Graduate Heroes commercial and Fresh Produce Clothing, a collaboration between Location3 (agency) & Solidus (production company):
Audacity shares the honor with thousands of other Silver-level winners such as Bank of America by Bank of America:
Truly Audacity has fought its way through the film-making gauntlet and emerged alive. Bravo.
Actually, I looked up the Lipscomb video We Graduate Heroes and thought it was pretty well-done:
You go, Lipscomb film department.
I tried to look up the commercial for Fresh Produce Clothing as well but awkwardness happened…
Ah well, they’ll always have their Silver Telly.
Speaking of which, as I was sifting through the veritable mountain of Telly winners I admit my first thought was “What does somebody have to do in order to win these?” Looking at the exhaustive list, Tellys seem like more of a participation award. I literally tried to find people who had made a submission but who hadn’t won at least a Bronze Telly and came up with nothing.So I set myself to learning what they are and quickly found out:
I know nobody in the industry that is impressed with purchased awards. Anyone in production (and therefor, probably not a perspective client) knows what they are and either passed or laid down $250 for their own. Those not familiar with the award, well, are not familiar with it so it’s not that impressive. If yer gonna lay down jack for a trophy, for for the regional emmy and when ya brag, just leave out the regional part. That seems to be general practice. Doesnt get many gigs but I saw a dude score a drunken soccer mom at a block party once doing this.
Awards will come your way over time. Let them come naturally and you will really appriciate them. Brag about the real awards this job offers… those hugs and high fives from happy clients.
I produce a weekly sportfishing program for FOX Sports West. I personally have 8 Telly Awards. And I can guarantee you, our sponsors and viewers could care less. Yes, it might look OK on your resume. Nothing wrong with that. But don’t look for your phone to ring only because you are a “Telly Award Winner.”
I have so many because we have had some shows where it would behoove us to win one specifically for a given sponsor or venue where we shot the episode. Then we can tell them “Hey! You won a Telly.”
I know producers who go ahead and enter just to get one. Then they can always claim to be a Telly Award Winner which of course is true. Most people see that and think it’s cool. But as one poster put it; inside people know better.
I just entered two more episodes for Telly consideration. They will probably both win. The reason we did this is so that certain people involved in these productions will get a trophy. Personally I don’t need or want any more. In these recent entries, I am not paying the entry fee nor am I about to fork out 150 bucks for another trophy I have no place or need for.
So there you go. The Telly awards appear to be an exercise in stretching the definition of “winning” to its theoretical maximum (somewhere where winning means slightly less than what Charlie Sheen does) in order to dupe people who don’t know what they are. I mean, by that reasoning I win a cheeseburger every time I go through the drive-thru at McDonalds. I rule. The claim that this movie won an award appears to be about on the same plane as Kent Hovind claiming to have earned a PhD.
It seems the Tellys are a way to cough up some money so you can say your film is award-winning and not technically be lying. Awards you buy reveal that you have $250 to burn, not that your film was particularly good. If you’re looking for any awards for which Audacity had to compete against other films based on its merit, well, you’re just going to have faith that they’re waiting on him in heaven because they sure as shit aren’t here on earth.
What’s more, if you’re paying for an award that says, at best, that your feature film can compete with commercials then your own estimation of your film probably isn’t that high. But hey, if last year’s summer blockbuster Bank of America kept you on the edge of your seat, you’ll probably love Audacity. Or if you couldn’t handle Beverly Hills Cop 3 because it was too good, then Audacity is your type of flick.
And lastly, if you want to talk about #LoveWins, the proponents of same-sex marriage fought a long and arduous legal battle in an arena where there was a definite winner and a definite loser (that loser was the Ray Comfort type). So you can bet your ass love won out. Your movie’s shitty ratings are even further prove that love wins.
In happy news, in the half hour since I posted this blog it has received an award from my roommate Dr. David Burger (who does not have a doctorate, unless you think Kent Hovind really has one in which case he has four). I’m pleased to announce that I am now an award-winning blogger thanks to Dr. Burger’s “Any Idiot Can Claim An Award or Title” Award (limited 2015 edition):
All it took was me giving him $5 to apply for the award and then another $15 acceptance fee for the certificate when I “won” (not unlike the Tellys and their trophies). I’m choking up a bit over here.
I hope you all enjoyed reading this award-winning blog post.