Unconditional Love in a Divided World

Unconditional Love in a Divided World January 29, 2025

Can we practice unconditional love in a divided world?

Sometimes, we judge others by their actions, but we judge ourselves by our intentions. For me, the more that I know about someone else’s intentions, the more that I understand their actions.

Our society is sharply divided by politics and religion, among other things. I wrote about anger and othering here. Can we practice unconditional love in a divided world?

 

Image from StockCake/AI-generated, public domain
Can we see the lotus in the mud or the radiance in the darkness? Image from StockCake/AI-generated, public domain

 

Can We Love a Nazi?

Once, a good friend told me, “I may be the closest thing to a Nazi that you know.” That may or may not be correct. (At least, my friend was forthcoming; others might not be so forthcoming.)

Did we remain friends? Of course, because I knew his heart. For starters, he was a compassionate and wise person. Despite his beliefs, I never saw him treat anyone unfairly or unkindly. Further, his chemistry and his conditioning were different than mine. He faced some challenges and he had some experiences that left him more susceptible to conspiracy theories and pseudoscience.

Finally, he evolved. Over the course of our friendship, he changed his mind, he moderated some extreme views, and he renounced some unhealthy influences. Was our friendship difficult? Certainly. Was our relationship worth it? Certainly. Did I help my friend to change his mind? Maybe. Would he have changed his mind if I had abandoned him? Maybe not.

Here’s the thing. We are all more than our beliefs. When we know someone’s heart, we see them in living color, not in black and white. We see the lotus in the mud, the radiance in the darkness. Unless we know someone’s heart, then we probably shouldn’t make assumptions about their character. If we know someone’s heart, then we don’t have to make assumptions. We know.

We are each more than our beliefs.

Can We Love a Sex Offender?

I spent a few years driving disabled veterans to medical appointments at a Veterans Administration (VA) clinic. One day, they asked me to pick up a new veteran who was a registered sex offender. When I realized that, I recoiled. I thought I didn’t sign up for this. Should I pick him up? Should I speak to him? What exactly did I sign up for? I asked myself.

The answer came back loud and clear. “You signed up to drive disabled veterans to the VA.” In that moment, I recalled the conversation between Arjuna and Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita, when Arjuna said that he did not want to fight, although he was a warrior. Krishna said that he must fight, because he was a warrior. Warriors gonna war. Drivers gonna drive.

To this day, I do NOT know what the man did, why he did it, or whether he was repentant. I do know that he was homeless, that he struggled with mental illness, and that he was unemployed. Seemingly, whatever he did and why-ever he did it, fate or God or karma or the Universe (or all of the above) had imposed a pretty severe punishment. I did NOT need to pile on.

We had a pleasant conversation. He thanked me for the ride, and I thanked him for his service. We became friends.

We are each more than our actions.

What Does It Mean to Love Someone?

When we hear the word “love,” we immediately think of romantic love. This type of love is individual, not universal. We love our partners because of their uniqueness, that “special something.”  After 50 years together, I deeply love my wife, and I always will. But, romantic love can be conditional, and people can fall “out of love.” Romantic love can be selfish, too.

This is different from the “love” that the saints and sages discuss. Christianity uses the Greek word “agape” to describe unconditional, unselfish and universal love. We cannot fall out of it. Obviously, we can NOT like everyone, because liking is conditional and individual. But, we can love everyone, because it is unconditional and universal.

This unconditional love sets a pretty high bar. If we believe that everyone is related and everyone is connected or if we love our neighbors as ourselves or if we love everyone unconditionally, then could we ever ban Muslims or build walls or marginalize LGBTQ+ people or separate families or take away someone’s health care? Would we do that to ourselves or our family or our friends?

As spiritual teacher Ram Dass said, “We’re all just walking each other home.” Is my purpose really any different than that? Can we abhor Nazism or sex offenses, yet love people unconditionally? Could we see the lotus in the mud or the radiance in the darkness? Can we practice unconditional love in a divided world?

 

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About Larry Jordan
Larry Jordan is a follower of Jesus with a Zen practice. He wrote “The Way,” informed by the Eastern religions, the mystics, and the quantum physicists. "The Way" won a 2024 Nautilus Book Award. You can read more about the author here.
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