#10 Freedom from Violence and Force
Spiritually grounded sexual acts are only possible between partners acting out of free choice, making decisions to participate free from any form of violence or coercion.
Our testimony on peace was originally based on the idea that warring and violence were rooted in "lusting" after others and their possessions, the selfish desire to own and control what was not one's to have rightfully. This wrong attitude obviously fuels sexual violence as well as war and other forms of violence. It is widely recognized that rape is an issue of unequal power relationships and intimidation between social groups rather than sexuality.
Modern Friends also see violence as the destruction or damaging of God's potential revelation (the "Inner Light" through the person harmed or killed). When violence enters into the sexual relationship, either explicitly in rape or indirectly through date rape and various forms of coerced sexual acts, there is no chance that the sexual act can be an expression of deep interpersonal spiritual intimacy or the unfolding of God's plan for us as humans.
#11 Pornography and Awe
Pornography is based on addictive pulls and rooted in exploitation of those involved in its production and use. It at best avoids and at worst suppresses healthy intimate relationships with others. It is incompatible with treating all persons with awe, respect, and love -- as children of the living God.
Pornography is a huge worldwide industry that enslaves millions of people. It is deeply intertwined with organized crime, prostitution, and drug addiction.
Pornography traps users into returning continually to it through playing upon addiction. It is an effort to gain profit -- huge profit -- on the addictions and suffering of those involved at both ends.
The images in pornography are devoid of caring and spiritual intimacy. It encourages an attitude of focusing on one's own pleasure through "consuming" the image of another person. It fosters sexual fixations and attitudes that make it difficult for those who utilize it to treat others in real life situations with true respect, honesty, and affection.
Pornography is rooted in and fosters addictive behaviors. It is the opposite of the Testimony on Simplicity. Simplicity involves taking part in activities that open our hearts more fully to the Living Spirit of Christ. Addictions serve as a hollow substitute for God. They are a form of idolatry. When our actions are controlled by addictions we lose the freedom to respond to God's voice in guiding our behavior. Pornography closes our hearts to God and makes it less likely that we and others will choose behaviors that are reflective of God's leading and hopes for us.
Pornography and erotica appear superficially similar but they could not be more different, although admittedly much that is marketed as erotica bears many of the same characteristics as pornography. Erotica, as I am discussing it, can reflect and encourage an opening of the heart to others. It is not produced in a manner that exploits any other person in its production. It can deepen the bonds of sexual joy between partners. It does not rely on addictions to appeal.
We need to take a strong stand against pornography and to resist the pull to utilize it if we see ourselves as people of faith and integrity. In the past, people who opposed injustice refused to wear the products of slavery or of non-union labor. Others refused to drink because of opposition to the ways in which alcohol damaged many people's lives. I cannot think of few industries we would want more to stay clear of supporting than the multinational pornographic sex industry.
#12 Sex and Care of the Earth
Wrongly-ordered sexual attitudes and behavior are damaging to the earth.
Sale of products by capitalist enterprises through playing upon sexually exploitative images and sexual addictions fuels overconsumption and use of resources that damages the earth. On a deeper level, wrongly ordered sexual attitudes create an attitude toward self, others, and the earth that is deeply damaging to God's plans.
When my older son was about five or six he hated the toilet jokes rampant among his peers. He said to me once, "Daddy, I feel like those jokes are like the attitudes of people who don't care when endangered species are wiped out." I was puzzled by this statement at first and couldn't see the connection between the two. But then it struck me: both attitudes are based on a lack of deep respect and "awe" toward God's creation - toward bodies on the one hand and toward God's creatures on the other.
#13 Sexuality between Singles
I believe God embraces sexuality between single people when it is practiced as an expression of deep spiritual and emotional caring and in response to an effort to discern God's will.
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