Obviously, just being of the same religion is not enough to make a good match. Just like the rest of the world, there are other factors. For example, is it important that your mate be a smoker or non-smoker? Vegetarian or meat eater? Gardener? Drummer? Musician? Have lots of pets? Or not? Into body piercings and tattoos? Or not? Into science fiction and fantasy? Or do you prefer history, folklore, and archeology? Looking for someone to raise children with? Or not? Do you follow an eclectic path? Or a more narrowly defined one? Monogamous or polyamorous? Some of the factors I have just mentioned, as well as others too numerous to mention, may turn out to be a deciding factor in how successful or long term your relationship will be.
So where would a single Wiccan or Pagan meet a suitable partner? Associating with kindred spirits would be the logical place to start -- in a coven, at a regional gathering or at open Pagan events. Websites like Witchvox offer opportunities for individuals to make introductions through e-mail, which could lead to personal meetings and courtship.
When people have been working together for several months or a year in the context of a magical community, they will usually discuss important philosophical ideas that inform their outlook on life. They have been experimenting together with energy work; discussing personal matters as they progress; working closely together to learn divination, meditation, healing, herbalism, magic, ritual, and music. Attractions can, and frequently do, develop between people in a group through these common interests and sharing of personal experiences.
If you stop and think about it for a moment, isn't that what most people seek in a relationship in the first place? Don't most people want to share their lives with others who have common interests?
If we have evolved from the person we were when we got married and have adapted different sets of ideas, beliefs, and practices while our partner refuses to change, isn't that a good reason to divorce and seek a partner who does share more of these important aspects of life with us?
Love among Wiccans and Pagans can be very challenging, because first we have to find each other, then once we find each other, we have some of the same problems to work through as everyone else. But for those who are able to get this far and use the beauty and power of magic to strengthen their ties, the love between two Wiccans or Pagans can be very special, bringing a depth and dimension to their relationship that is highly charged, sensuous, erotic, mystical, and life-affirming.
Wicca is a religion that has its ceremonies led jointly by a man and a woman. So when a man and woman who are attracted to each other physically, mentally, and emotionally begin acting as priest and priestess together, a finishing touch is put on their relationship that reinforces all the other aspects of it.
In a religion where the Charge of the Goddess says that "all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals" and where sex can be part of your magic together, it is easier to find ways to increase the closeness and the passion between a couple than in religions that harp on sin and repentance as guidelines. There are Christians who believe that sexual pleasure should be reserved only for married people trying to make babies. This is a substantial difference of opinion.
Yes, it is definitely my experience that a couple that shares the same religion has a much better chance of having a long-lasting relationship. When both people in a relationship share the same religious beliefs and practices, that alone will not guarantee a long and successful partnership, but it certainly removes a substantial stumbling block and opens the way for greater cooperation and understanding on other issues of mutual concern, such as career, health, family, and financial matters.
This article was first published on Witchvox and is reprinted with permission.
Pan has been a practicing Pagan for more than twenty years and has experience as a coven leader and public ritual leader. He currently chooses a more private path and practices as a solitary. His blog, Magical Awakenings, contains hundreds of articles about spirituality and metaphysics.
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