Honoring the Dead: An Interview with Laura Patsouris

What does this entail?

Consistency! Relationships with the Dead (like those with the living) are reciprocal and develop over time. There are points in the year where I will do big rituals, but the mainstay of this work is daily devotion and the tending of my ancestral house. I speak with my ancestors every day. I make offerings consistently. Even if I am busy, when I get up in the morning I will light a candle, set out a fresh glass of water, and then go make coffee for myself and my Dead. They are integrated into every part of my world.

What role do you think ancestor veneration should play in religious work? Why is it important?

I am so glad you asked! Ancestor Work is the foundational devotional practice in my opinion, period. If you can't approach and get right with your own ancestors, what use can you be to the Gods? Without being rooted in your ancestral line, how do you expect to have the strength and self-knowledge for the spiritual life? The ancestors confer many blessings: luck, strength, a sense of belonging, identity, resiliency. Someone with no awareness of who they come from is like a tree without roots, quickly blown over by the first storm. If you look at ancient Pagan and Heathen religions, they all have some sort of ancestral practice. They understood how central the Dead were in the lives of the living. Plus, learning to respect and venerate the ancestors builds all the skills you will need to learn to then treat the Gods rightly.

What advice would you give someone just starting out insofar as honoring the Dead goes?

Don't be the annoying relative who only calls when you need bail money. They love you and are usually willing to help, but They appreciate someone who comes to them regularly, not just when they need a favor. Find something simple you can do on a regular basis and begin to do it. Make a simple ancestor altar with a cloth, some photos of your beloved dead or a token representing Them, and dedicate this sacred space in your home to Them. Talk to Them and invite Them into your life. Remember Them in good times and bad. Light candles. If you have a cake to celebrate something, cut a slice and put it on Their altar and say, "Thank you, I know you are here." Some things They like are white candles, fresh water, coffee, also (depending on who your ancestors are and their preferences) They may like Guinness, rum, tobacco, or corn meal. Let Them guide you. As you get a feel for who They are it will become clear what Their preferences are.

Laura, that is so very true. I've also found that as the relationship develops, one's facility for communication also grows stronger. Even if one can't sense their ancestors when they begin these practices, over time that ability will develop. Now, are there any dangers inherent in becoming an ancestor worker?

Actually I'd have to say that it much safer to work with one's ancestors than it is to approach unrelated dead people or Deities. The ancestors have a vested interest in their descendants and in the survival of Their line. If you approach Them with love and respect, They will welcome you. I would say that there are more dangers inherent in ignoring one's obligations to one's ancestors, Wyrd-wise.

Whenever I talk about honoring the Dead, two questions inevitably come up and I'd like to get your input on them. First, what do you do if you're adopted and don't know your blood relatives? Then, what do you do if your blood relatives were complete jerks, or abusive, or in some other way unpleasant and dishonorable characters?

If you are adopted then you have several lines. You have ancestral lines from both your adoptive and birth families to work with. As for the second question, everyone has at least a few rotten apples in the family tree. You do not have to work with anyone abusive. You can reach back and reach out to the good apples who are also there. Most people who get into this Work will find that they have a few key ancestors whose role it is to guard and guide. They will keep harmful elements at bay if you ask for Their aid.

I do have to say that sometimes the troubled and neglected Dead can cause trouble, so you can do what is known as an elevation to try to help Them to move on and not bother the family. This involves praying for the soul of the departed over a period of many days (the number varies depending on which tradition), lighting candles, etc., with the intention of elevating the spirit so it can be at peace. There are a number of different traditions who do elevations for the Dead and the specifics can vary.

In a previous column, I proposed very strongly that we hold the generation of our ancestors who abandoned their ancestral traditions for monotheism accountable, that we demand they work to make it right. What is your take on that?