Joy Story

That's basically what Jon has learned to do. His initial state of unbidden joy didn't last—such states rarely do. A few days later he found himself back in his 'normal' state of mild depression and anxiety leavened with flashes of humor, and soon the experience of joy was more a memory than a reality.

But he couldn't forget the experience, and he wasn't willing to dismiss it as a fluke. So little by little, he started to carve out a path for himself. He read Sufi poetry. He started a meditation practice. But the real shift he made was to choose to believe that his experience of joy came from a deeper level of reality than the difficulties, the pain, and the general dysfunction that he saw in his own mind, on TV, and in the streets of his city. He developed a self-inquiry process that goes something like this: "Okay, I'm choosing to believe that I've got joy inside. But I don't feel it right now. So what can I do about that? What part of my attitude do I need to change? What practice can I do that might help trigger that joy?"

Jon discovered, as most of us do in time, that it doesn't always work to approach joy frontally, demandingly. Joy is like a butterfly that will come and sit on your hand, but which you can never grasp or hold. Instead of trying to 'get' joy, we do better to find practices and attitudes that attract it. Most of the clues we get from our teachers about how to work with the mind are actually practices for attracting joy. Loving kindness practice, remembering to be grateful to yourself and others for every little boon and even for difficulties, consciously letting go of grudges—all these are practices for uncovering joy, because they all help to displace the sludge that builds up around the heart and keeps joy away. Even more important is the practice of noticing the stories you're telling yourself, learning how to monitor when your thoughts are creating painful inner states, and how to use the creative power of your own mind to create inner states that conduce to joy.

So, taking it step by step, the process of cultivating joy could look something like this. It begins with the simple understanding that joy is real, and then with the decision, the choice, to tune your mind and heart so that they are open enough to feel it. Depending on your mood and state, you might need to practice some form of santosha, which for me means noticing the thoughts and feelings, anxieties or desires that are currently agitating my body and mind, and then doing what I have to do to let go of whatever resistance to my current reality is causing the agitation.

The next step is some form of mudita practice—chanting, or prayer, or going directly into the heart center and letting the energy there expand, meditating with a loving image or visualization, offering prayers for the well being of others, remembering a beloved teacher, or any of countless others.

Remembering a Moment of Joy
In the tantric texts, however, there's one core practice, what I call a cut to the chase practice, that lies at the heart of all of the above. It can be perfected until it actually will shift your state in a very short time. It's very simple and it can be done anywhere—in the car, washing the dishes, or even while you're reading this article.

Close your eyes and remember a time when you felt really happy. Then take yourself into the moment. See if you can get a feeling-sense of yourself in the situation. Perhaps you do this visually—by remembering where you were, what you wore, who was present. Perhaps you do it by invoking the feeling—asking yourself "What did that happiness feel like?" and then waiting until the feeling-sense begins to make itself present in your body. Stick with it until you actually feel the happiness, even if it's in a very mild form.

Then remove the memory of the scene or situation, and just feel the feeling. Find the place in your body where the feeling is centered. Then expand the feeling until it fills your body. If you're very visual, it might help if you give the feeling a color—a warm color, like gold, or pink. Or you might work with the breath, breathing into the feeling and letting it expand on the exhalation.

Sit with the feeling of happiness. See if you can hold it. See if, for this moment, you can let that feeling of happiness become your primary feeling. Remember: this is a glimpse, however small, of your true reality.