The Best Porn in the World

The word 'pornography' means "writing about whores", from the Greek pórnē - harlots. Now it would seem to follow that best pornography in the world would have to display the best harlots. But the best harlot - by the true meaning of the word best - is a forgiven harlot, like Mary Magdalene, who makes the radical shift from the rotten to the whole. And if she is whole, she is no longer a harlot. She is a virgin. Unfortunately, there is no word for "writing about virgins", so I will make one up - v … [Read more...]

The Problem With Christian Radio

I wrote this for another blog, which is becoming a podcast (more on that eventually) so I figured I'd post it here. It also gives me the delightful excuse to throw some jams your way.You say, "Christian music." Your agnostic friend thinks, "A load of unoriginal crap by Casting Crowns and Tree63."He certainly doesn't think MuteMath:And the world of Christian music-lovers wonder where to direct their angry mob.I hold that Christian Radio shoulders the bulk of the … [Read more...]

Ripples From The Rock

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If I had but one sermon to preach it would be this: The ripples are not the rock, the rock is not the ripple, and it is the confusion of the two that damages the Church.A current trend amongst Catholic leaders, priests and ministers is to look at the Holy Mass and ask, "How can we get the world to come? Ah, well, we could bring the most beautiful art into our churches, we could bring the music people like into the Mass, we could orientate it towards families, we could have a later Mass … [Read more...]

Our Stubbornly Resistant Church

The problem with writing post-sized posts is that I always have essay-sized new ideas while writing them, but I know I would be justly excommunicated from the Internet if I ever took up the habit of extrapolating upon every shiny bit of A.D.D that flutters into my temporal lobe. A Chesterton I'm not. So today my afterthought hearkens back to two days ago, back to Cathedrals.One of the glories of a big, hulking, Gothic cathedral is that it's a fantastic metaphor for the similarly hulking C … [Read more...]

What Steve Jobs Isn’t Remembered For

"You know, there's a porn store for Android. You can download porn, your kids can download porn. That's a place we don't want to go – so we're not going to go there." - Steve Freaking JobsI was at least 300x more likely to go out and buy a pair of thick-rimmed glasses, a Starbucks gift card and an iPad when I first read this. It's a thing that Steve Jobs probably won't go down in history for, but even so, I'd like thank the man for his stance against pornography. Christ, remember it and re … [Read more...]

Eucharistic Blasphemy

There is a prayer said by the Roman Catholic priest before he receives the Holy Eucharist, the Flesh and Blood of Jesus Christ, usually muttered so quietly that the congregation cannot hear. I'll give you the version from the New Translation, because its awesome, you're awesome, and thus you and the New Translation are going to get along dandily: "May receiving your Body and Blood, Lord Jesus Christ, not bring me to judgment and condemnation, but through your love and mercy let it be my p … [Read more...]

The Atheist’s Self Help Blog or How To Save an Ideology While Getting Girls To Like You! Part II Being – Practice What Ye Preacheth

Its an assumption we might as well take for fact, that if one were to see a man preaching his foolproof method of avoiding alcoholism while proceeding to get entirely trashed, one would assume something wrong with the method, and certainly something wrong with the man. That much would be an easy reaction. The exceedingly difficult - if not impossible - reaction would be to ignore the incongruity of the drunken man, and to follow his method of abstinence. (Actually, it's just plain difficult to … [Read more...]

Distraction By Cuteness

Perhaps this is a distraction unique to the solemnly-stodgy liturgical denominations, those in the odd habit of sitting in pews and looking forwards. I mean, of course, Distraction By Baby. There you are, happily staring down the liturgy, when over the shoulder in front of you rises a cherubic glitter of eyes and cheeks, some gurgle of joy or hunger - who knows which is which - and you are left with a conundrum. Baby or God?But of course, such a distraction is never really a distraction, and … [Read more...]

The Glory of Being Shut Up

"Christ prophesied the whole of Gothic architecture in that hour when nervous and respectable people (such people as now object to barrel organs) objected to the shouting of the gutter-snipes of Jerusalem. He said, "If these were silent, the very stones would cry out." Under the impulse of His spirit arose like a clamorous chorus the facades of the mediaeval cathedrals, thronged with shouting faces and open mouths. The prophecy has fulfilled itself: the very stones cry out." G. K. C.We … [Read more...]

Real Confession

Confession is the best. I am absolutely convinced of this fact because the sacrament is one of the few Catholic Things that atheists, agnostics, and members of other religions will get - at worst - only mildly annoyed about and - at best and most usually - wishful, dreamy and sentimental about. Honestly, the number of atheists and agnostics I talk to who deny the remotest possibility of a relationship with God and then ask, in a somewhat timid, casual tone, "Can people who aren't Catholic go to … [Read more...]


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