Pro Freaking Life

"When the revolution happens you won't read about it in the newspapers." It is a sad state of affairs, when battles fierce and important are politicized into meaningless drivel. The best way to ruin a good fight is to let the media lock it into a stalemate, and to publicize the whole situation as a social phenomena - an example of differing views. From the level of discussion the media grants the abortion debate, you'd think we were arguing over a tax break. The revolution is … [Read more...]

Nothing Worth Sharing More…

I'm not usually big on sharing spiritual experiences, but I figure I should follow my own advice as explained in the Joyful Mysteries post, and let you guys know about something beautiful.I was on a retreat last weekend, and it was fantastic. My friends and I were leaders, goodness knows why, instructed to bring kids closer to God. Part of the retreat was handing out spiritually affirming letters written by our parents, friends and leaders. Basically, it was a time to recognize the … [Read more...]

Why I Am Catholic!

Frank Weathers, from the ever brilliant and ever holy blog Why I Am Catholic, was brave enough to let me guest post about why I personally am Catholic. I am immensely grateful to him.go HERE if thou pleaseth.Or stay right here and check out the newest SprayMarian installment, that highly noble institution.Whatever you do, know that your Lord loves you, that the whole Church is behind you, that our Mother is interceding for you, and that nothing but eternal joy awaits the followers of … [Read more...]

More News From the Fast Food Front

So in case you missed it, I work in a violently religious fast food setting. To keep you updated, and happy, I bring to you the following absolutely real excerpts. You saw them here first, bad Catholics.My Korean friend: (behind me, making food) "So what about babies that die before being baptized, do they go to hell?"Me: (washing dishes) "No, because they are innocent and God is merciful."Her: "I agree."Me: "Same with adults."Her: "What?"Me: "You know, if an adult is innocent and has never been … [Read more...]

As Promised!

The rules video for a retreat my friends and I are running. Unprofessional and ridiculous, it might be the best thing ever:Also, I plan on releasing a series of, er, sermons by Spaniel Biter on this blog, so look out for them. … [Read more...]

This Place Is Crazy

With apologies to the various back-to-nature promoters of whose fervor knows no equal; we aren’t natural people. And this isn't a natural world.On the contrary, we’ve lived in a supernatural world with supernatural souls for so long that we’ve decided it natural, and thus boring, when nothing could be further from the truth. We are a book read twice, and the antidote to this monotonous re-read can only be a third read. Then we will see ourselves for the first time, in the shining light of dawn. T … [Read more...]

Sin When It Lacks

I'm very, very excited that I get to give a talk at my parish's high-school retreat. My talk is on forgiveness and reconciliation. And, as I've been thinking/praying about this, a big thing that's been coming up is the John Paul II quote posted in a comment by, on Pictures of Naked Women. Here it is again:Did I mention that your boy goes hard?I bet he listens to Polish trance-core whileskiing. That or Gregorian chant."The problem with pornography is not … [Read more...]


The Annunciation.The Visitation.The Nativity.The Presentation in the Temple.The Finding in the Temple.I was thinking, as I am apt to do, of a cool metaphorical meaning one might get from these fantastic mysteries of the Rosary. They could be easily seen as a solid 5-part lesson on life in the Holy Spirit.1. The Annunciation. Our Lord asks Mary to bear His Son, and Mary says yes, saving us all. There's enough meditation on this incredible moment in human history - the deus ex … [Read more...]


First of all, many apologies for my prolonged vacation. I wanted to get my life in order so I wouldn't feel quite so hypocritical posting calls to holiness. It's not in order, but it's better, which is really the story of holiness, and what it means to be a bad Catholic. It's all screwed up, but it's better. That sounded depressing. My bad.Anyhow, this post is for a girl who has a profoundly special place in my heart, to the point where I cannot recall a day spent in the last two years … [Read more...]

Wine When It Is Red

It was truthfully said that if Catholicism had not elevated wine to a sacrament, another religion would have. But as it turns out, it is Catholicism that heightens the romance of things over their physical nature, and so of course it is in our fantastic Church that wine is God. What a radical statement that is! And yet how understandable. It's as if the world was preparing for wine to become salvation. Actually, if you'll forgive the stream of consciousness, let me correct myself: The world … [Read more...]