Merit Badges for Mom

After spending this week in Edinburgh, Scotland in a dumpy Travelodge room passing around a horrendous stomach virus with my kids while my husband goes to the National Archives, I have been thinking that we should start a merit badge system for moms. My brother is an Eagle Scout; here are some badge categories for all you Eagle Moms. 

1. Medic: for singlehandedly taking care of vomiting children and controlling destructive toddlers while our own innards are being thrashed

2. Chef: for preparing healthy meals on a budget to suit the tastes of many family members, all in 20 minutes time, while simultaneously nursing babies, managing toddlers, coaching exuberant preschoolers through a craft activities, and playing dress-up with little ladies

3. Athletics: Tex elaborated on this one a couple of years ago

4. Labor and Delivery: self-explanatory

5. Automotive Maintenance: diagnosing many vehicular problems just by listening to the car, as well as knowing exactly how to deal with mechanics; that is, going cold cosmopolitan mom with the sneering, lecherous ones and playing helpless damsel in distress with the Mr. Awesomes; then, no matter what, turning on them at the end to negotiate the price downward. Surprise.

6. Backpacking: packing a diaper bag in 3 minutes flat that will supply, for one full day, the needs of several children relating to nourishment, hydration, incontinence, and soothing

7. Citizenship: raising the next generation, and raising them to put others before themselves, even though having your first of many babies at age 24 isn’t exactly in vogue

8. Emergency Preparedness: spending anywhere between 20% and 80% of the day (depending on the season) in emergency mode; our guardian angels deserve this merit badge, but since they are incorporeal, we can wear it with pride

9. Personal Hygiene: doing the hygiene basics and usually finding time to put on makeup and earrings. Our self-esteem, our husband’s gazes, and our childrens’ compliments are worth it.

10. Wilderness Survival: also known as The Family Vacation

Any others to add?

  • Mary Alice

    Love it! How about one for driving people to activities? I seem to be doing way more of that than I ever expected.

  • Erin

    Right now we’re feeling a huge sense of accomplishment, and the desire for a corresponding merit badge, for Poop in the Potty. I swear, I would wear it all over town.

  • Family Snodgrass

    Fabulous list! I especially like your description of the diaper bag’s contents…sums it up so nicely!

  • JMB

    How about a badge for school/and or volunteer activities:nnCommunication: Attend endless PTA, HSA, or any other alphabet type meetings. Listen to someone recite minutes, watch show of hands for votes, duck any calls for volunteering during recess, or attending a class trip that involves a bus and second graders, or chairing some type of event that involves gift baskets and “silent auction”.nn

  • Elenaculshaw

    Diplomacy: for successfully acting as an ambassador for the vocation of Catholic motherhood. Especially for handling all ‘family-size’ remarks with charity and wit.

  • B-mama


  • Mary Alice

    Today I worked towards my sewing badge with this Halloween costume, our first ever home made one!nn

  • Anonymous

    Congratulations, that also qualifies you for the Overachieving merit badge : )nnAWESOME costume, MaryAlice.

  • Mary Alice

    Sales? for choir concert tickets, pancake breakfast tickets, school wrapping paper drives, boy scout popcorn, baseball 50/50 tickets, pro-life car raffle…