American Universities to Offer Remedial Flushing

Issues with students who have not made the necessary advances in reading, writing, mathematics, and other traditional academic areas prior to college have been in the news for years. But a consortium of American universities has recently taken steps to address another shortcoming that is persistently a problem on university campuses all around the country.

A surprising number of male students have apparently not received adequate instruction during their formative years all the way through high school in the skills needed to flush a urinal.

“We have been so focused on the skills they lack in the classroom,” said one university administrator speaking anonymously, “that we have completely neglected the skills they required when they asked to be excused from the classroom for a bathroom break.”

Although precise numbers are difficult to ascertain, the situation is sufficiently dire that the president has ordered the secretary of education to look into whether there is a need for additional legislation to support this initiative, which some are already calling the “No Urine Left Behind” act.

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  • Beau Quilter

    These college administrators are misinterpreting the data. These young men aren’t “forgetting to flush”. They’re conserving precious water. This is the generation that will save our planet!

  • Lawrence

    I’m sure I went to bed on 14th September but I seem to have woken up on 1st April!!

  • Brad S. Matthies

    From your friendly neighborhood librarian:

  • Anonymous

    Sad to say, this might be useful.  My undergrad university was reduced to posting a sign, “Remember, ‘wet floor’ is a warning, not a request.”

  • David Harting

    I never flush the urinal when alone to conserve water and energy. When in the presence of others, I flush to conform to social convention. 

    There you have it, from a college student.