Bravo’s reality show Miss Advised is about three women who give relationship advice for a living – a radio show host, a matchmaker, and a “columnist.” They go on awkward televised dates and then see if they can take their own advice. Julia Allison, the columnist, went to see a witch in last night’s episode for help making a love spell. The witch had Julia make “a golem,” which was a small clay figure meant to represent herself and her relationship issues or something.
So here’s the thing about golems: yes, they’re made of clay or dirt, but that’s about all the witch lady got right. Golems are figures from Jewish mythology, who are created out of inanimate matter and then brought to life. Golems are usually giant, usually male, and usually unable to speak or communicate. (Cynthia Ozick creates a great female golem character in The Puttermesser Papers, which everybody should go read.) Golems are supposed to be created when Jewish people are in a time of danger. In other words, golems are not things that you make because you are trying to convince a dude to date you.