I think it’s important to remember that your emotions are God’s gift to you, and not the people around you. When you are angry about something, that’s the Holy Spirit’s way of prompting you to look at a potential injustice. Having been prompted, your job is to pray about whether the injustice is something in your environment, or if it has something more to do with your unreasonable expectations about how life should work as opposed to how life does work. Either way, there is a problem to be solved and prayer will help clarify both the nature of the problem and the direction you should take.
Having prayed about your feelings, the next step is to prayerfully reflect on a respectful course of action. If the course of action requires addressing a problem with someone, the rule of thumb is, “Lead with solutions, NOT emotions.” For example:
A. Leading with Emotions looks like this: “I can’t believe you’re such a selfish jerk! I have to do everything around here!”
B. Leading with solutions look like this: “I’m really overwhelmed. I need us to sit down and come up with a plan for getting things together for our company this weekend.”
Now, there are a host of irrational thoughts that stop a person from doing B instead of A–but they’re all irrational. If you tend to do A more than B, you’ve let Satan get in your head and he’s going to tempt you to actions that will drive the people you love away from you.
Here’s another article on why shouting isn’t communicating.
For help getting a better handle on the emotions that are ruling your life, contact the Pastoral Solutions Institute to make a tele-counseling appointment with a faithful, professional, Catholic counselor today. 740-266-6461.