Public Service Announcement—

Whew!  Busy day.   Just a closing thought before I hang the “back tomorrow” sign on the front door.

If your initial reaction to a post by a guy you don’t personally know, will never have to deal with in real life, and isn’t actually addressing you directly is,

“MYLIFEISJUSTFINEHOWDAREYOUCRITICIZEMEWHODOYOUTHINKYOUAREYOU HOLIERTHANTHOU JERKMYLIFE/KIDS/MARRIAGEAREJUSTFINEAND ICAN’TBELIEVE YOUWOULDHAVETHE AUDACTITYTOSUGGESTOTHERWISEANDBESIDES EVERYBODYHASTODOWHATWORKSFORTHEMSOTHERE !!!!!”

Then may I respectfully suggest that…

1) you are not nearly as secure in your decisions as you like to pretend.

2) that you, on some level, know what you’re doing is hard to defend and as much as you want it to pretend it’s working, it probably isn’t.

3) its ok to admit that despite the fact that you’ve done the best you could, it’s not the best you can yet do, and maybe you could still learn something

‘Cause if the none of the above were true, you would read what said guy wrote, think, “Hmmph, what a dummy.”  And then go read something else.

But if you’re hanging around here fighting, at some point you’re going to have to reckon with the fact that you are fighting with yourself, not me.  I have no interest in fighting with anyone about anything.  God has given me some things that I–and many, many others— have found to be very good and very true and I owe it to him to share those things with other people who might be interested.  I put the gifts he’s given me out there, and if anyone is blessed by it, I’ve done my job.  But it’s a big internet, kids, and I am totally cool with you going to play somewhere else.  There are lots of other people who will tell you that you are awesome just the way you are.  By all means, go hang out with them.   That said, if something keeps dragging you back here despite how much you are infuriated by what you read, maybe you should pray on that instead of trying to kill the messenger.

Either way, I hope you find the peace you’re seeking.  And if I can do anything to help in that regard.  I’m here for you.  God Bless.

About Dr. Greg

Dr. Gregory Popcak directs the Pastoral Solutions Institute, an organization dedicated to helping Catholics find faith-filled solutions to marriage, family, and personal problems. Together with his wife, Lisa, he hosts More2Life Radio. He is the author of over a dozen books integrating psychological insights with our Catholic faith. For more info about books, tele-counseling and other resources, visit www.CatholicCounselors.com.

  • Carrie M

    good point Dr. P

  • http://www.littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com Leila

    Hello, Dr. Greg! With respect, you’re not just some “guy” with a blog, you’re a nationally respected Catholic psychotherapist, and your words and opinions carry more weight with Catholic moms than just an average guy. You strongly implied in your previous post that parents are actually sinning against their children if they don’t bring little ones to mass (“unjust”, “robbing”, “serious impediment” to catechetical and spiritual formation). The Church doesn’t say those things about such a situation, and a response was necessary so that we don’t set already frazzled moms completely over the edge by implying that they are in sin. I am especially worried about the scrupulous — as you know, there are many of them. Overall, I thought the discussion was reasonable and respectful, and I don’t remember anyone “yelling” or using all caps, but then again, I admit I haven’t checked back today.

    • http://www.catholiccounselors.com Dr. Greg

      I appreciate your comment and you’re right. I do have expertise that does offer frazzled moms a way to be less frazzled. And I do think that people would be wise to listen to that expertise, but if they don’t, then that makes me “some guy” to them. They don’t need my approval. I respect their right to go somewhere else and enjoy the less effective advice that others may offer. ;-)

      • http://www.littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com Leila

        But, respectfully, could you address the point about implying that things are sins when they are not?

  • Jen

    Dr. Popcak, not sure whether this will see the light of day because the previous comment I left has vanished for some reason. Hmm…

    I have not read your books, nor am I familiar with your work. The blog posts of the last two days is really my first and only introduction to you. I mean no disrespect. I’m a Catholic stay-at-home mom to four children and I have lived through many Sundays in the last 12 years in which my husband and I made the choice to go to Mass in shifts. Those occasions were just a brief season in life that we got through without much ado. (We may very well make that decision again down the road when our newborn becomes a wiggly toddler. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.)

    For you to say that we have “robbed” our children, or done them some sort of “injustice”, or somehow failed them in their faith formation is extremely pompous and unjustified.

    I will say once more that I’ve found your pronouncements to be very harsh and unwarranted, and this “service announcement” to be arrogant and condescending. You’re the one who laid down the law on the subject– according to your “expertise” which we would be so unwise to ignore– yet you are unwilling to listen those who chose differently or take issue with your “you’re wrong and I’m right” on the matter. Instead you become dismissive. That’s too bad.


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