If you don’t understand the point of this post, it means you’re healthy and well-adjusted and don’t spend time on Facebook.
UPDATE: If the wording of the riddle that’s going around social media specifies the time as “3am,” you might be tempted to answer that the first thing you open are your “eyes,” since it’s the middle of the night and you’re asleep. However, “eyes” are “things” and the riddle says “thing” (singular), so “door” is the correct answer. (Also, you’re already awake immediately after the doorbell rings, so that action has already been completed in the body of the riddle.)
And, also since it’s the middle of the night, you can say, “Your gun cabinet,” because it’s probably an attempted home invasion.
Or, you can say “nothing,” since no one you know would wake you up in the middle of the night for breakfast.
But, really, the answer is “door.” Stop trying to be clever.
Steve Greydanus had this to say: “If anyone, even my parents, are knocking on my door at 3am looking for breakfast, the FIRST thing I’m going to open is a can of whoop-ass, so I’ll have it ready when I open the door. And THEN I’ll open my eyes IF I’M IN A GOOD MOOD.”
It’s a terribly worded version of this particular (and rather obvious) riddle. Here’s the one I found on Facebook: “3:00 am, the doorbell rings and you wake up. Unexpected visitors. It’s your parents and they are there for breakfast. You have strawberry jam, honey, wine, bread and cheese. What is the first thing you open?”
For those confused, the Facebook meme requires you to change your profile picture to a giraffe if you get it wrong. It’s what’s called a “thought virus”: a pointless exercise or factoid that spreads like a computer virus through the internet.