My dog Bandit often steps in when I’m overloaded with other work, so I thought I’d share part of his column on Valentine’s Day! You can read the entire piece on his blog, www.MyNameIsBandit.com:
“It is time for Valentines Day, the day when people go around telling other people how much they love them or they try to get people to fall in love with them. It’s all hearts and hugs and kisses and love.
“But it is all a big lie. Really, those people are trying to kill you.
“First, a naked baby named Cupid flies around with a bow and arrow trying to shoot people in the heart. Where I live, babies are not allowed to fly around without their mommies (or their diapers), and they are definitely not allowed to play with bows and arrows. Plus, just in case you didn’t know, if you shoot someone through the heart with an arrow they will die. And they probably won’t love you for it, either …
“On Valentine’s Day, some boy people give their favorite girlfriend people a very special present called a rock. It is a shiny glass stone you wear on your finger and it costs about eleventy million cents. Girls like to get that present. I don’t think a rock is a very good present. Although I heard about a dog last month who ate 100 rocks, so he must have a lot of girlfriends.”