My formula for dealing with F.E.A.R.: Face it, Embrace it, Ace it, and Replace it!

There is an unseen life that dreams us.  It knows our true direction and destiny.  We can trust ourselves more than we realize and we need have no fear of change.

~John O’Donohue

A wise person once said, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”  This is as true in life as it is in dreams. It is human nature to seek to avoid someone or something you consider unpleasant, threatening, or out of your league…even if it is an aspect of yourself. However, learning how to shine a light on that which frightens you (while awake or asleep) puts you on the fast track to self-realization, and your ultimate fearless awakening.

When Brandy came to see me, she was suffering from the following recurring nightmare:

My daughter, Vanessa, and I are in the woods looking at a school that she might attend.  I look up and see a mother lion and her cub watching Vanessa. I know they want to devour her. They start running toward us and I scream for Vanessa to run away, diverting their attention toward me. The mother lion pounces on me and pins me on my back. Before she devours me I pick up a stick and throw it (as if she was a dog and we were playing fetch). The lion goes for it and chases the stick, while I take the opportunity to run away. I wake up breathless, knowing we were safe for the moment…barely.

Logically speaking I could see why this nightmare was so frightening to Brandy, but I couldn’t help but secretly be thrilled by the symbolism. I had a hunch that this nightmare held a key to Brandy’s confidence.

I shared with her, “From a quantum physics perspective you are connected to everything and everyone. You can run but you can’t hide from your shadow, nor from your light. You can create alchemy by confronting your F.E.A.R.: Face it, Embrace it, Ace it, and Replace it. After all, what you resist persists. Even though it seems scary, I’d like you to re-enter your dream—and once inside view it from the perspective of the lion (as a shadow aspect of you) attempting to empower you with a gift.”

With eyes closed, I reassured Brandy she was safe, as I led her back inside the dream. She faced the lion, and immediately broke into tears when she realized it represented her rage at her soon to be ex-husband (Hell hath no fury like a mother lion scorned!) She had suppressed her anger fearing it would devour her, which in turn she feared would devour her daughter.

I guided her to ask the lion to impart its gift to her. She immediately began to entrain to (get in sync with) the lion and she began to shake. She began to embrace the lion’s power. When I asked her how she felt she smiled through her tears, “I feel powerful…happy. I’m not afraid of my ex-husband…not afraid of my anger…not afraid of anything right now.”

I knew Brandy aced the dream when she shared, “ I didn’t think I could handle this much intensity…but I can…its energy that makes me feel …confident. I can’t believe I ever pushed this away!”

By the end of the session Brandy had demonstrated the power of the F.E.A.R. Formula She had faced her fear, embraced it, aced it, and within a few minutes, she had replaced a dream that terrified her into a dream that empowered her.


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I’ve found that it is impossible to re-enter a dream and create dream alchemy without creating a real-life ripple effect. When Brandy called me after her custody hearing, she was ecstatic as she shared with me how she walked into the courthouse with her lion by her side. At no point in the meeting did she break down in tears (like she was historically—and hysterically—known for). She felt carried by an invisible strength that made it impossible to feel intimidated by her soon to be ex-husband. She walked out of court awarded full custody of her daughter, and full custody of her inner lioness.

The next time you lift your head from your tear drenched pillow, awakened from a scary dream, give thanks for these dreams that are instigators of transformation, wisdom, and even enlightenment, if you allow them.


Reframe and redirect an “unfinished dream” (aka a nightmare) and describe your     “before” and “after” experience.



Excerpted from It’s All In Your Dreams (Conari Press). Once you buy your copy, click here to receive $4,000 worth of fr*ee dreamy gifts throughout the month of May.


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