Stuff People Should Know: The Sharing Usurper

Whenever friends get together to chat, they naturally vent frustrations about things people do or say that, while thought to be common sense or basic manners,  fall short. I have a list of little courtesies called, “Stuff People Should Know,” and hope to make it a recurring post.

The lucky victim of my first thrashing goes to well-meaning people who like to take exciting news, then share it on social media before the “owners” of that information have an opportunity to announce it themselves.

Readers, I give you The Sharing Usurper. As the title implies, a usurper uses something without the right or authority, and a “sharing” usurper is one who likes to take the news, photos, or personal information of another person, and share it online either prematurely, or inappropriately.

~Grandmother who posts a Facebook status excited for another grandchild before her pregnant daughter-in-law has shared the news herself. I’m talking to you! 

~Sister, who excitedly tells the world of her sister’s engagement, before the happy couple makes the announcement. You’re guilty!

~Baby just born? Did you post pics before the parents had a chance? Were you posting labor updates? Shame!

~A friend accepted a new job and is moving. You lament online about your friend moving across the country, but your friend hasn’t told her family yet. Horrors!

I know the rules of social media are new and not entirely clear cut. If you’ve been in the dark, no sweat. I’m here to get you caught up.

Here’s some Stuff People Should Know about being a Social Media Sharing Usurper.

1. Ask permission. Always. Don’t share photos, news, announcements or any personal information about people without permission. No exceptions. I don’t care if it’s your grown child. Or, especially if it’s your child. You might think that your hair dresser and second cousin need to see photos of your daughter on Instagram moments after giving birth. But trust me, they don’t.
2. Don’t ever share a picture of anyone, their children, or significant others without their permission. Mothers especially take huge offense to people, even close family, sharing their children’s photos online, where once shared, are beyond their ability to protect. See tip #1
3. Assume that no one wants to be mentioned online. If you’re eating out with a group and want to let your online friends know how much fun your life is, unless expressed otherwise, infer that your friends don’t want all of your online friends to know where they are. See tip #1
4. Unless YOU had a baby, got engaged, are moving, pregnant, or got a new job, DON’T post about it. It’s not your news to share. Again, default to tip #1. I KNOW you’re excited and can’t wait to get 60 “likes” and dozens of redundant comments of “Congratulations,” but I implore you to resist any urge to post until the owning parties have both 1) made the news public, and 2) given the green light to share online.
5. Prayers. I’m going to go out on a whim here and guess that your brother doesn’t want you begging the Facebook world for prayers when he goes in for a colonoscopy. He’s on top of it, I’m sure. He’ll make sure the right people know. Return to tip #1.

People mean well, and most often have the purest intentions when sharing the news of others. We get it, it’s exciting. So much so that it’s tempting to share with the world before it’s entirely appropriate to do so. Hold back, eager beavers.

Share a picture of the dinner you made instead. Or on second thought, don’t.