The Beatitudes Bloopers Reel

“Action,” said the director.

“Blessed are the rich, for they have been blessed by God,” Jesus spoke to the camera.

“Blessed are the poor, for through their donations in the hope of miracles, rich preachers can travel conveniently in their own jet plane.

Blessed are those who suffer not, for they are clearly blessed by God more than I am.
Blessed are the proud, for evidently they are omniscient.

Blessed are those who can persuade themselves that they are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for they can treat the criticisms of others as just more proof that they are right.

Blessed are…”

“CUT!” cried Peter, who was serving as the director.

“What’s wrong?” asked Jesus. “That was just for the bloopers reel, as a joke. I’m ready to film the real version whenever you are”.

“I thought I told you,” replied Peter. “Today’s broadcast was going out live“.

Jesus, enraged, drove Peter and the other Apostles, the cameramen and stage crew, from the studio, using a whip made of microphone cords.

Unfortunately the televangelists and many others simply mistook Jesus’ joke for Gospel truth. They failed to see Jesus’ reaction to the whole incident, because it wasn’t televised.

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  • Luke

    this explains it all!