NRA Edition of Les Miserables

This wonderful gem was created by Jeff Carter:

Jean Valjean listened.  Not a sound.

He pushed the door.

He pushed it lightly with the tip of his finger, with a cat’s stealthy, timorous care.  The door yielded to the pressure with a slight, imperceptible movement widening the opening slightly.
He waited a moment, then pushed the door again more firmly.  This time a poorly oiled hinge suddenly let out a harsh and prolonged creak into the darkness.

Jean Valjean trembled.  The noise sounded in his ears as clear and terrible as the last trumpet on the Judgment Day.  In the fantastic exaggeration of this instant, he knew that the hinge had become animate and suddenly endowed with a terrible life, that it was barking like a dog to waken all sleepers.
The old man, the bishop, Monseigneur Bienvenu rose.  The old women screamed.  Jean Valjean turned to flee, but his way was blocked by the Bishop who held a musket.

“Monsieur,” said the Bishop, “You have entered this house of God with the intent to steal and to rob.  But, Nisi gladiis tutatur domum, qui custodiant eam vigilate in frustra.”  He fired the musket and the shot rang out in the darkened house.  Smoke and the screams of the old nuns filled the room as Jean Valjean sagged to the floor and died.

The End.

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  • Bob Patterson