Atheist Reindeer Conspiracy

Atheist Reindeer Conspiracy December 15, 2017

I can’t believe I didn’t notice it before. It was there under my (not bright red or shiny) nose, yet I failed to notice it until now. Presumably you have all seen the Christmas decorations purportedly representing Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer that children are taught to make using popsicle sticks and which look something like this:

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Well, it wasn’t until today (I am ashamed to admit) that I noticed what this diabolical invention depicts when you turn it upside down – or is it the right way around?

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Yes, as you can see, it was never really Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer at all. Hidden in this seemingly innocent ornament is the capital “A” that is known internationally as the symbol for Atheism. Above the diabolical gaze of the A’s beady little eyes is a third eye representing the perilous ideas of Eastern thought and New Age mysticism.

The next time you encounter one of these, I trust that you will see it clearly and recognize it for what it truly is…

 

 

/SATIRE

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  • Erp

    Surely it is the flying spaghetti monster shorn of a few arms.

    btw I think you meant gaze not gave

  • Gary

    I hate to be sexist, but in my day, only girls would make Rudolph. Boys made a square of 4 overlapping popsicle sticks, then placed two diagonal sticks to hold them all together. Then delighted in throwing them, and watching them explode when they crash. Made a great flying saucer.

    • Gary

      Today, teachers would consider that too violent.

      • When the first Half Gallon icecream “tins or cans” were available – about the early sixties I think – We used the lids from empty cans as frisbies and launched them at each other. Even square one could be “flown”.

        Would that be considered too violent today?

        https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/disAAOSwHnFVzFdP/s-l640.jpg

        • Gary

          Of course. Even dodge ball would be considered too violent. Purpose, to hit someone with something. Btw, in our time, we called a frisbee a “Pluto Platter”. More in line with it’s flying saucer origin.

          • A game of Brandy (or similar) was a fifties or sixties primary school game played before school or at recess. The “victims” lined up against a wall, and the one struck by a hard-thrown tennis-ball replaced the thrower who re-joined the target line-up. I seem to recall that the ones in the target line had to keep themselves pressed against the wall while trying to avoid being hit.

        • Gary

          Also, we didn’t buy skate boards then. We took a 2X4, broke a pair of roller skates apart, and nailed them together. High tech.

          • Poor folks didn’t own roller-skates. The only occasion I saw anything like pocket-money was on the occasion when I received 4 Shillings (equiv. 40c) on about my 7 or 8th birthday – although I had to bank half. (Australia went to decimal currency in 1966; the year I joined the workforce with an initial weekly wage of $10.00). I received more actual paid-for experiences and/or presents from Grandparents and/or Uncle- such as being able to visit Saturday Afternoon Matinee at the Alhambra, Stones Corner which was around the corner from home of Grandparents. (Photograph from 1949 – one year before I was born)

            http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_WfG4A8PQTAs/Sveheaz-C4I/AAAAAAAAATc/L1usD2BvGDQ/s400/Alhambra+Theatre_146464.jpg

            But one self-assembled pursuit was to construct a Matchstick Gun from wood, maybe with a pair of tinplate side-panels, and powered by linked rubber-bands. Our versions were very simple- a partway-hammered in nail was a trigger which, when pulled backward, released a clamped matchstick under the tension of several (number depended on the length of “gun barrel”) linked rubber-bands. Although this simple type was a single-shooter requiring another matchstick to be placed in the ‘trigger-clamp’. When one was armed with a “loaded” matchstick gun, any other kid in the locality without a “loaded” construction was fair game. The simpler ‘guns’ only discharged a rubber-band. A hard-thrown Brandy tennis-ball might bruise, but a swiftly moving matchstick could really sting.

            One winter the period, between returning home and being called for “tea” (what Americans might call Supper or Dinner) after sunset, was likely to be filled with a game of barefoot jam-tin soccer. Playing with bare feet meant that our kicks were conducive to shorter distances – than an actual barefoot game of soccer at school which involved an actual soccer-ball.

  • Neko

    The lengths these libs will go to in the War on Christmas.

  • John MacDonald

    The real “Miracle On 34th Street” was the thousands of NYC kids who lived in apartments in New York City without chimneys professing belief in Santa Clause!

  • Phil Ledgerwood

    The Blair Witch Reindeer

  • Carstonio

    That’s a funny alternative to the Satan Claus myth I’ve heard about. Are there people who seriously believe that the St. Nick was created by the devil to deceive people about the meaning of Christmas?

    • Gary

      A little vetting from a non-Evangelical, but a guy who grew up watching “Leave it to Beaver”. I could care less about upside down Rudolph signaling “Atheist”. But for Hollywood liberals, producing crap like “Bad Santa” pisses me off. I am OK with freedom of press, and against censorship, but producing something that the “trailer” cannot be watched, without saying you are over 18, as if kids won’t watch it, and the “Santa” part wins a Golden Globe award, shows Hollywood is totally screwed up. And sadly, the public likes this crap, to the point they produced “Santa 2”! Oh – they are against gun control. But they have kids watching violence up the kazoo! I would say ban Hollywood crap, as the first step to lessen violence.

  • Dang! You’ve uncovered our nefarious plan!

  • Jeff Carter

    Rudolph’s an anarchist.

  • Gary

    https://mobile.twitter.com/AppStore/photo

    “Hidden in this seemingly innocent ornament is the capital “A” that is known internationally as the symbol for Atheism. Above the diabolical gaze of the A’s beady little eyes…”

    I think “A” is more likely one in everyone’s pocket. Or, if not in your pocket, you are staring at it in a diabolical gaze, while totally ignoring your surroundings. Elementary school kids are wondering when the stupid Rudolph craft is complete, so they can get back to texting.

    • Gary

      “”smoothing out” means that phones will reorder incoming commands to make sure not all of them are done in parallel.
      “The inevitable outcome of it will be an inherent slowdown of the average response times by the system,””

      http://money.cnn.com/2017/12/21/technology/apple-slows-down-old-iphones/index.html

      “A”, and “AI”, have something in common with old people. To save our batteries, and promote our recycling, we are slowed-down, and can’t do parallel processing anymore.

      I wish the upside-down Rudolph “A” was for atheist. Less nefarious than Apple!

      • Gary

        “The revelation sparked an outcry among Apple fans, with some suggesting they may switch to rival Samsung.”

        Of course, that presents an interesting trade off. Slow your old Apple down (to save the battery), or buy a Samsung that ignites in your back pocket. Or never upgrade your software, and assume the supposed threat of being vulnerable to virus attacks is bogus. Apple “A” might stand for “Antichrist”, or iPhone “Apocalypse”, or iPhone “Anarchist” IED.