I’ve written multiple, brutally honest (and hopefully not too “emo” sounding posts) about my self-injurous tendencies. In fact, one of my biggest reasons for starting a blog in the first place was the hope that I might clear away some of the shadows of ignorance and taboo surrounding the issue of self-injury. Many people do it. Few people talk about it. I believe that this is a problem.
I am an extremely private person and don’t always enjoy talking about such things in the most public place on earth (the internet, for those who haven’t had their coffee yet). However, I feel compelled to share so that my fellow self-injurers know they aren’t alone, and so that those who don’t self injure can better understand our position. I share in order to give other people what Jon Acuff, of “Stuff Christians Like,” refers to as ”The Gift of Going Second.” But don’t think this hasn’t been a gift to myself as well. Let me explain to you a bit of the intrinsic value that blogging has bestowed open me!
First, a celebration of sorts! I hesitate to get too excited, since my biggest downfalls seem to occur directly after proclamations of victory (I blame deforestation: not enough wood to knock on). However, I have been cut free (slicing and dicing being my preferred method of inflicting pain upon myself) since November! This may not sound like a major deal. After all, it is only February. However, taking into account the biweekly razor blade dates that occurred LAST February, I would say that I have reason to be excited! I don’t believe that I would be able to have such a celebration if I had never started blogging! Why? Well, allow me to explain!
–Writing, as I have discovered, is a much more effective and healthy means of relieving depression. Letting out my problems in words, rather than in blood, has been wonderfully therapeutic!
–Blogging gives me support and accountability. Yes, I had wonderfully supportive friends before this blog. But, the topic of self-injury, being the taboo topic that it is, doesn’t come up often in conversation. “Hey friends! How are you today? Oh, by the way, I’m a cutter!” This may be the extreme introvert in me talking, but I find blogging to be a much more effective communication tool. Now, my friends know what I struggle with, why, and how to best help me in my adventure!
–It turns me into a land-locked country. They say “no man is an island,” but I believe I have spent most of my life as AT LEAST a peninsula. I revel in my independence to a fault. Blogging, however, has placed me amidst other self-injurers. We’re all in this together, now, and while I don’t always like that idea, I know, deep down, that it is best.
A new emotional outlet, the support of loving friends, and a family of fellow self-injurers. Would I be able to celebrate the past few months were it not for these things? I think not! Thank you, dear readers, for joining me on this difficult journey. What a blessing you have been!