That’s not a slut. That’s a person.

I’m not sure what the official rules on labeling a woman a “slut” are. But let me give you a few examples of people who have “earned” the term:

I know of a girl who fell in love with a boy, gave him her virginity after dating for several years, and got pregnant. Even though she had never slept with anyone else (and is now happily married to that same boy), she was labeled a slut the entire time she was pregnant.

I have a friend who had never slept with anyone. She was labeled a slut because of the way she dressed.

I had a classmate who was labeled a slut because of her naturally large breasts.

I have a married family member who was labeled a slut when another man bragged about having a crush on her (even though she did not return his feelings).

I was labeled a slut when someone thought he saw a hickey on my neck (it was acne, for the record. I’ve never actually had a hickey)

And, here we go, I’ll admit it, though I’m not proud. When I was a teenager, a girl in my youth group slept with her boyfriend and everyone knew about it. And I labeled her a slut.

So, what’s a slut? Apparently you don’t have to be sexually promiscuous to be one. Apparently, you can be a virgin and still be a slut. If you get pregnant before marriage (no matter what the circumstances are), I guess that makes you a slut. If you wear a mini-skirt, you’re a slut. If a lot of men like you, you’re a slut. If you have a nice body, you’re a slut. If you’re a Christian, you only have to have sex once to be a slut. If there are rumors about you, you’re a slut.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Hold on a second. What?

Geez, is anyone NOT a slut?

It seems to me that the only requirements for being crowned “slut” are:

1) You must be a woman

2) ….hmmm…well, that’s about it.

Men are not sluts. I hear the word “man-whore” now and then (and it’s just as objectifying, by the way), but I don’t know anyone who uses the term as liberally as people use the term “slut.”

I hate the word “slut”- not just because the word itself is hurtful (though, it definitely is). But it’s a word that represents and mocks the challenges that women have been facing since the beginning of time. It’s a word that spits on those women who are bold enough to demand to be treated like humans. It’s a word that does more than hurt feelings- it denies feelings. Feelings? What feelings? You don’t have those you’re just a slut.

The word “slut” says, “You, as a woman, are an object that can depreciate in value. Not a person who is priceless.”

It preaches,”You, as a woman, have no greater gift to give than your virginity.”

It mocks, “You have a sex drive? That’s so unnatural.”

It accuses, “If men lust after you, it is your fault. If you are sexually abused, it is your fault. If you are stalked or cat-called at, it is your fault. You are a woman. You are the reason men masturbate and rape and harass. It is your fault.”

It whispers, “You are defined by your sexual mistakes. You can never change. What you’ve done is part of your identity.”

I’m going to issue a challenge- that we try our best to remove “slut” from our vocabulary (at least as an insult- I know some women who embrace the term as a compliment as they embrace their sexuality, and I say “Go them!”). I grew up saying it as an insult, and it still slips out now and then, because the crappy, sinful part of Sarah Moon likes to accuse others of being sluts because it makes me feel better about myself and my mistakes. But I’ve trying to change this, and I hope you’ll accompany me on my journey!

Now, let me remind you, simply refraining from using the “s-word” isn’t enough. Remember, the word itself is just one of the banners that the soldiers in the age-old War on Women like to fly. Taking out the banner isn’t going to stop the war. There are still lies to combat and self-esteems to rescue. There are still glass ceilings to break and rights to fight for.

But before any battles can be won, we have to remember why we’re fighting:

Because women are people. Not objects.

“Slut” objectifies and dehumanizes.

So let’s stop joining with the enemy. Let’s ditch the labels and take a look at the women- the PEOPLE- behind them.