Dan Cathy’s lifestyle.


A week and a half after the infamous Chick-fil-A Day, this quote by Rick Warren is still making it’s rounds on the internets.

Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone’s lifestyle, you must fear them or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don’t have to compromise convictions to be compassionate.

It’s been a couple of years since I actually held the conviction that loving a person of the same gender is wrong. It’s been years since I grabbed by giant, red-lettered KJV Bible, and decided that I was going to read the whole thing straight through as if I’d never read it before. Years since I poured my heart into learning how to divorce what I’d been taught in Christian Fundamentalism from what the Bible actually said. Years since I read the article by Walter Wink that finally convinced me that affirming the one lesbian friend I had at the time was a position completely compatible with my faith in Jesus.

Now, with a fresh perspective on the Bible, I look at this Chick-fil-A fiasco and I only have one conviction and that is this: Dan Cathy, and those supporting him, are not being like Christ in this area. Not at all. He is living a lifestyle of fear and hatred, putting vast amounts of money into hurting others just to appease his own conscious.

Jesus did not life a lifestyle of hatred.

My convictions are that donating money to hate groups that spread lies about and take away the rights of the friends that I love is the farthest thing from the compassion of Christ. I don’t hate Dan Cathy, and I certainly don’t fear him. But I refuse to compromise my convictions by giving him my money so he can use it to hurt my friends with his lifestyle of hate.

That’s the lifestyle I oppose.


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  • The only caveat I see with Warren’s position is that it sounds like the all-too-familiar “love the sinner, hate the sin.” It’s been shown by many people that this is a false dichotomy and really, truly isn’t possible. Sure, it’s possible for God. But we’re not God, and we were never meant to be, so we shouldn’t purport to be able to act as he does.

  • I agree with Adrian. The “Love the sinner, hate the sin” is a slick equivocation, a doublespeak which allows the speaker to hate with righteousness and to lie to him or her self that he or she is not actually hating, or even doing anything unloving. They manage to conflate hate with love. It boggles the (rational) mind.

    • I agree partially. I hate that phrase because it’s ALWAYS used by Christians as the doublespeak that you mentioned. When you’re talking about LGBT people, their “sin” is so tied to their identity that I don’t understand how you can love them if you hate the fact that they’re having fulfilling, happy lives.

      Though, if we used it in other ways it might make some sense. Like I love my father. Hate that he can be so patriarchal sometimes (though he’s come a LONG way from what he used to be and I’m proud!), but I love him.

      • Thing is, the practical outworkings of “love the sinner, hate the sin” are invariably very unloving. You can’t have this role or that role in the church, and we’ll even campaign to ensure that you can’t have basic civil rights that us “normal” people take for granted. I feel thoroughly ashamed that I ever took it seriously as a position.

        I think a whole lot of people would feel very differently if the same criteria were applied to them. Like this, for example: http://recoveringagnostic.wordpress.com/2012/08/03/hate-the-sin-love-the-sinner/

        • yup. I agree. I think it’s a way to hate someone with your actions while still claiming to love them in some intangible, ethereal way.