…which is why I’d like them to realize that they suck at atheism. Etymologically speaking, A holiday is a holy day, which leads me to understand why the godless are so grumpy – they’ve never had one. But, then again, for a breed so bent on denying that religion has brought any good fruit into the world, they see no contradiction in eating it, so perhaps they go on holidays and call them vacations. Those wild, crazy, Winter Solstice Vacations.... Read more
Culture baby, culture: The Oberammergau Passion Play Being the hardcore Catholic folk that you are, the phrase “culturally Catholic” might set you snarling. But grant me just a moment to attempt a turn-of-phrase. I maintain that those who – somewhat sullenly – call themselves “only culturally catholic” – as in “yeah-my-parents- make-me-go-to-church-but-I’m-still-hip-enough-to-think-gay-sex-is-awesome” – tend to have utterly no idea what Catholic culture is, much less a history of practicing it. There seems to be a flawed train of thought in our day... Read more
And God sayeth, “Don’t make to much of it. It’sdelicious, but probably won’t bring salvation. That’swine, remember?” The most painful paradox Christianity offers – and if carried out, the happiest – is that we must die to ourselves in order to fully live. Advent is a time to give this insanity a decent shot, in preparation for the coming of the God-man: Not to be miserable, but to be able to enjoy everything fully. Let me explain. Though often associated with long... Read more
The wooden blocks lay stacked in the dark of the toy-maker’s basement. It was a dreary place, full of dust and spiders and nibbling rats, but the blocks hardly noticed, being chock full of that sublime excitement only a wooden block can be full of. Every time the old man would begin a new toy he would fling open the door, golden light would pour into the basement and the blocks would get a breathtaking glimpse of the glorious things... Read more
If we are the Church Militant, then the battleground is the back kitchens of fast-food joints. The following conversations I’ve had are 100% real – I promise – no embellishment- though it is tempting – and all designed to prove to you that apologetics are the most hilarious business we can partake in. Me: Today is a kinda, gosh-I-wish-we-served-whiskey-here sort of day. Billy: (Seriously) Um, that’s a sin. Me: That’s not what Jesus seemed to think. Wedding at Cana and... Read more
I‘m writing from detention, and am reminded why bad kids are so much fun. First of all, they’re nicer and kinder to each-other than “good” kids manage to be. A common bond of trouble is much stronger than the bond of the lack of trouble. Secondly, they’re funnier than kids who seem to think that humor is constant sarcasm. Now that I think of it, detention is a lot like the Church. A bunch of people who have screwed up,... Read more
The whole problem with our culture can be summed up by the coffee we drink. The science, nay the art, of drinking black coffee revolves around enjoying that which is not enjoyable. The phrase “acquired taste” means just that – the acquisition of tastes we do not have: the taste for bitterness, the taste for harshness. Learning to love a dark cup of coffee means loving the unlovable, which is the definition of Christian charity. It does not mean ignoring the bitterness... Read more
Occasions of Sin are external circumstances–whether of things or persons–which either because of their special nature or because of the frailty common to humanity or peculiar to some individual, incite or entice one to sin. They tend to boil down to the situations we avoid. If your predominant sin is lust, avoid the whorehouse and the internet. If your predominant sin is wrath, avoid agnostics. If your predominant sin is pride, avoid acting, and playing in the Rolling Stones. If your predominant sin is sloth, avoid beanbag chairs... Read more
It’s a moment of incredible beauty; the realization that Narnia is the real thing after all, and that what we call normality is merely a World Between the Worlds, a haze of indifference, apathy and dulled senses that keep us from seeing things As They Are; capitalized and burning with symbolism, evidence of things not seen. Every tree is a prophecy, it’s leaves signal fires of things to come. Every blade of grass stands tall to praise it’s Creator, and... Read more
I’m sure you folks have already had a gander at this ‘un, but have a good ol’ God-It’s-Sweet-That-I’m-Catholic moment on me: I maintain that, besides inventing the university system, modern agriculture, preserving intellectualism, creating the Scientific Method, The Enlightenment, uniting a nation, halting the Muslim takeover of the world, and building a few cool churches along the way (etcetera ad infinitum), Christianity invented Badassery, a word I long to be included into the modern dictionary. Courage is simply not courageous... Read more
Bad Catholic
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