It is the rainy season in my corner of the world, and as midsummer approaches I’m finding myself feeling not so much quickened and sparkly with solar energies as I am lethargic and clumsy with slowness, wanting to curl up on my comfy couch alone in my darkened room blissing to the sweet soft cotton candy of 70s pop music.
I am out of step with the quick cadences around me, watching the world from afar – still – as people cluster and congregate and celebrate in reunions with families and friends. I’m not just reluctant to leave my cocoon; I don’t remember how to.
I step outside into a sodden atmosphere so thick with moisture I hardly need to exert my own will to stand upright—the hot and sticky sultriness of the air will hold me up just fine, thank you. And every afternoon, rain, tippy-tapping into yesterday’s puddles, cascading from the edge of the roof to smack and slap into the courtyard like a full-bore firehose aimed at a tenacious fire.
As we tilt toward the longest day, I find myself thinking about balance and wondering if my metaphysical fulcrum has shifted. I’ve always experienced balance as a percolating energy-filled active state of constant micro-adjustments being made to maintain my mental, emotional, and spiritual equilibrium. But now I simply feel dull and stupid, like I have been encased in clay that, once it dries and hardens, will leave me forever at one remove from the loveliness that I know is in the world.
Yet, just as I have trust in our Mother Earth and her cycles, I know that where I am now is simply a point in my own ever revolving, always evolving cycle. In due course I will rediscover the will to exert my intent and renew my still-slumbrous energies. Perhaps that day will be Midsummer. Perhaps that day will come in its own time. Whenever it comes, come it will, and eventually I will be refilled with more than enough energy to spill out and nurture the meadows I will someday find myself in.
Nurture them like rain.
You can hear more of The Corner Crone during her Moments For Meditation on KPPR Pure Pagan Radio on TuneIn or on YouTube. Follow her on Twitter and on Instagram.
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