Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.
~Edgar Allan Poe, “The Raven”
October is always busy, and although every year I say that I refuse to double and triple book my schedule, I always do. This year has been no exception.And I leave myself exhausted and emotional. Pinholes into my energy are poked and I am prone to illness and an overall sad feeling, mainly from sleep deprivation. We all have done it. And many of us still do it despite knowing better.
Last Thursday I began to see the results of October. I sat in the Holly Township Library awaiting to give a lecture. It was an area that I had never visited before, and wondered if anybody would even show up to hear my talk. I posted my insecurities on Facebook and seconds after the crowd slowly rolled in – until it was standing room only.
“You do this every single time!” Chuck smirked as he drove us home.
“Do what?” I innocently replied.
“You doubt yourself. And ironically you are the one inspiring others. How does that work?” he asked rhetorically.
I laughed. He was telling the half-truth. I wasn’t always insecure, but the last couple months had been filled with obstacles and tests. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe, because I did and I do – but – well I had an encounter with someone who informed me that I couldn’t succeed and if I tried they would try and stop me at all cost. I suppose that voice planted into my subconscious was making me doubt. And then there is the way that I was raised. Success equated to ego and ego was bad. I was still trying to fight that false belief. Mix in lack of sleep and it was a prime recipe for scaredy cat.
We didn’t get home until after 11 p.m. that night, only to have to get up at 5 a.m. and head out to do a motivational speaking event with a sprinkle of readings. The event was held at a large expo center that was currently housing several meetings and conferences besides for the one I was attending. One of those conferences, directly across the hall from where I was sitting with a sign that largely said – Kristy Robinett – Psychic Medium & Life Coach, was a conference hosted by Governor Snyder, the Michigan Cyber Summit 2013. Politicians, secret service, military and police were everywhere and many of them commented on me and my sign. Chuck sat nearby and I could feel his protective energy grow larger as my scaredy cat began to come out. I felt the urge to run away and avoided eye contact with those snickering and pointing at me as if I was the bearded lady at the carnival. I could also hear them saying in their head – “What a phony!” and just as I was about to look for an espape of some sort, two FBI agents came up to me.
“Psychic Medium, huh?” the one said and laughed.
I politely smiled and nodded.
“Prove it,” the other said to me.
Normally I would smile, shake my head and say ‘no thanks’, but something told me to not do that. Namely his mom.
Next to the prove it agent, was petite lady with short blonde hair. Her face was gentle and loving and she asked me to give him a message.
“Your mom is right beside you. She says she is sorry that she passed last year when you were on the cruise with your wife and daughter. She has your brother with her too. She asks that you call dad every so often. He isn’t the easiest to get along with, but he does love you and he does miss you – and you are just like him.”
He turned ghost white and started to tear up. He looked over at his friend who just stood there staring at me.
“There isn’t any way you could have known any of that. Damn!”
He grabbed my business card off of the table, wiped his wet eyes with the back of his hand, and walked in to the bathroom without a goodbye. His friend just followed without a word.
I took a deep breathe and then looked for that inner scaredy cat, but she wasn’t there. I heard my guide say to me, “You are not the image that they think you, you are the image you create for you.” And isn’t that the truth?
Our fears and insecurities are based on the possibility, not the actuality. It is time to kick your inner scaredy cat aside! You are better than you see yourself. You are more gifted than you treat yourself. And so honor yourself the way you want others to honor you. Don’t be a scaredy cat.
You won’t always get the opportunity to peer into your own demons, nor will you want to. You may run away and hide, but don’t hide for too long because it is then that you begin to lose yourself.
5 Things to Scare the Scaredy Cat Away
1. Take a step towards what scares you. It is okay if you feel threatened at first. But don’t allow the fear of the moment to jade your intuition.
2. Envision what you want (and not what you don’t want) and like a movie, see how you want it to be played out.
3. Write your story the way that you want it go. Actually get out a paper and pen out and write it. Write out the things that scaer you and really look at it. You will probably see that it isn’t as scary as you think.
4. Stay productive. The more time you have time to over-think, the more time you have to create false ghosts. Have a go-to creative project – knit, crochet, paint, write, cook, bake, read, etc.
5. Believe. Even if you don’t feel that you have anything to believe, you sometimes have to fake it till you become it.
Fear holds us all back from our own success in all aspects of our life. Isn’t it time to kick the scaredy cat out?