Giving Myself Grace

Giving Myself Grace December 10, 2022

There was a recent social media post from a small author who held a book signing. She was expecting 40 people to show up, but only 2 people actually did. She was sad. She was disappointed. She was embarrassed. She took to social media and received a surprising response from authors with now large audiences who shared their experiences with their first book signings. It was comical and reassuring.

I remember my first book signing. I sat at a table at a Barnes & Noble and I prayed. I prayed so hard that someone would come. Many walked by me and awkwardly smiled. Some came up to tell me they’d never heard of me before. Some came over, picked up my book and began reading it from cover to back right in front of me, as if they were in a library and not a bookstore. I was horrified. A small amount of people purchased my book. A really tiny amount.

A few years later another book came out and surprisingly BN invited me again. Because of my bleak audience before, they only ordered a couple dozen books. Over a hundred people showed up and then I was embarrassed because I didn’t have enough books for everyone, and people were mad. BN never invited me back again, unfortunately.

I can’t thank you enough for supporting my dream as an author. It is something I’ve dreamed of doing since I could hold a pen in my hand.

My creativity has been darkened the last couple years. I have projects I’m excited to fulfill, but right now grief has shadowed my motivation to do them. I feel as if I’m in a shedding process and I have to see that through until all the nexts appear. I’m allowing myself grace to see it through instead of pushing through.

At one point or another in our life we all experience those times of wanting to do, but anytime you take a step, it feels like you are walking through quicksand. I’ve discovered that being gentle with yourself during this time is needed and the more you fight it, the more you sink. For me, finding one joyful thing every day helps to eradicate the quicksand and before you know it, you are standing on stable ground again. I can’t wait for that to happen for me – and for you if you are going through the same.

I’m receiving a lot of questions when my next book will be out and questions on what topic it is. I can’t wait to share my next projects with you once I find my stable ground again. Until then, I have plenty of books you can purchase for yourself or for that person on your holiday list. Thank you for making my dreams come true.

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